Everybody Loves Richard Raymond

Suck It, OPEC!

2011-03-05T22:14:00.003-05:00

It all started when Melissa and I were driving to work a number of Mondays ago. Looking back, I'm pretty positive that I glanced down at my gas guage and noticed that I forgot to get gas like I wanted to on Sunday night. I was down to below a quarter tank. I hate getting down that far because it seems like as soon as I pass that quarter line, the gas goes faster than when it's above it. It could take a week to get from 3/4 to 1/4, but seemingly two days to get from 1/4 to having the low fuel warning light up. I hate gas guages. I hated them all the way back to when the one in my Neon stopped working and I hated the one in the Oldsmobile that bobbed back and forth depending on the incline of the road.

I didn't have time to stop before work--even if I did, I wouldn't want to go past the turn for work to Turkey Hill and then have to double back thru the vaunted Centerville Road traffic. So I settled for getting to work and getting the gas on my lunch break.

So lunch time rolls around and I make my way down to my car and head off to Turkey Hill, without really looking down at the gas guage. In my mind I knew I was below a quarter tank. It had been more than a week since I last got gas, and that's about how long I can go without playing the quarter tank game.

I pulled into Turkey Hill and started pumping gas. Depending on the price, I wanted to spend around $10, no more than $15, and end up with a half a tank. As I was watching the total sold rise exponentially faster than the gallons pumped, I cursed the $3+ cost during the holiday season.

I realized that I was going to have to go $15 at the very least to get a half a tank. So it wasn't like I was not paying attention. All of the sudden the pump clicked off, like it does when your tank is full.

As much as gas guages suck, the gas pumps themselves suck more. They are dirty and it's always a hassle to get the cashier to authorize and turn them on. The buttons for pay inside or start never work. So when the pump clicked off, I figured it was more of the same.

For a moment I thought I may have had the nozzle tipped at a bad angle. I started pumping again and almost immediately it clicked again but this time I felt gas on my hands. I looked down and it had spilled out from the gas cap. Confused, I gave it one more try and it sprayed out even further.

Right away I figured the damned pump was screwed up. It happens all the time anyway. Then I thought maybe something clogged my tank, making the gas fill up and shoot out. I looked to the display and I had only pumped $14 or about 4-5 gallons. I figured either way, I'd be somewhere near a half a tank and I didn't want to fuss with it any longer. It was freezing cold and the wind was killer. If it were clogged I could just get it looked at...I had at least a week with the gas I was actually able to get into the tank.

I went inside and paid for the gas and when I came to start the car, I wanted to pay particular attention to the gas guage. When I started the car, I figured it would settle just below the half line. To my amazement, the needle flew all the way to the right and pegged full. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was sure that I was below a quarter tank when I started and if I only put 4-5 gallons, the most I could be at was somewhere inbetween a half a tank and three quarters.

I was very confused. I was absolutely sure that I was below a quarter tank when I got to work and I was double sure that I had only pumped enough to get a half tank full. But the tank appeared to be full. Gas had leaked out from the cap and shut the pump off. The guage read full.
With that being said, only one of the following could have happened:

1. Someone stole my keys while I was at work and put gas into my car without my knowledge.

2. I got gas myself and didn't realize or remember it, an indication that I've clearly lost my damn mind.

3. In a remarkable coincidence, my gas tank was clogged AND my gas gauge went defective at the same time on the same day.

4. Turkey Hill's gas pumps are defective and they are giving more gas than the display reads.

It couldn't have been number one since I had my keys on me the whole time. And who in their right mind would do that? It couldn't have been number two because I am the least crazy person I've ever met in my life. Number three was too much of a coincidence.

That leaves number four.

But would a convenience store ever allow their gas pumps, their best source of bilking customers, go haywire? They'd have to start price gouging snack foods to make up the lost revenue. I'd hate to see it come to that, Slim Jims are the greatest food of all time.
　
　
　
　
　
　

Blue Christmas...Music

2010-12-25T22:22:00.000-05:00

Well it's once again that time of year. The Holiday Season. Family and Friends. Getting presents.

Christmas music.

All told, I cannot stand Christmas music. I could go as far as to say I despise it, but that would depend on how many times I had heard Jingle Bell Rock on that given day.

I'm not saying every Christmas song is horrible. Just 99.99% of them. Snoopy vs. the Red Baron Christmas is fantastic. The 12 Pains of Christmas is great--if only because the guys who yell "Hangovahs!" and "Stale TV Specials" both sound like Liberace. I enjoy Blue Christmas by Elvis *and* Porky Pig. I also enjoy, randomly and inexplicably, the "I Had Christmas Down in Africa" song.

The rest is trash.

The thing that gets me is the way the songs sound. If it I wasn't for the actual words connotation Christmas, would you ever listen to the songs in a million years in August? Could you imagine Jay-Z or Justin Timberlake being a star if they sang their songs in the same manner, tempo, tune or style that Andy Williams sings Silver Bells? They'd be shot without trial!

While we're at it, I might as well make a list. Under no circumstances do I want to hear any of the following:

-Thirteen different versions of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. Thirteen versions! Can you imagine hearing more than one version of MacArthur's Park or some other equally horrendous song? What makes it worse is if there is an actual version of a song that I do like, I end up hearing one of the 45 others, which means I can forget hearing the one I like for the rest of the day.

-The recording of White Christmas that Bing Crosby made on wax cylinders in his basement in 1929.

-The Figgy Pudding song. I can't even figure out what figgy pudding is, let alone wonder why the singer nearly wants to stage a sit-in unless he gets some right here.

-Anything by Josh Groban. That goes double for his non-Christmas music.

-Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton. If something is going to get me into the Christmas spirit it's definitely not this song, which sounds like Dolly trying to talk herself out of hanging herself in her barn.

And do not get me started on Christmas music with no words. Yeah, I'm talking to you Manheim Steam Rollers. What a waste! Not only are you going to waste my valuable hearing on horrible Christmas music, but you're going to compound it with instrumentals?! I might as well listen to Handl or Tchaikovsky!

I might have a better shot of avoiding it altogether, but damned if the radio at work, approx. five feet away from me, isn't playing 101.3 The Rose, Lancaster's Christmas station. Oh yeah, they play nothing but Christmas music. It started at Thanksgiving and runs all the way to New Years!

Now I'm forced to use the Zune more often, which is a pain in the rear to keep the ear phones in all the time. It also sucks that it’s not working all that properly after I slammed it a few times the other day because my lap top wasn’t recognizing it as being connected, which in turn prevented me from adding any new songs. I figured it out, but I tell you what, computers make me insane. Let’s not get into that though, that’s a whole different post altogether.

Reasons My Life is More Bizarre Than Yours, Nos. 32, 58

2009-12-18T23:57:00.003-05:00

Reason No. 32.

Cheesey Sex Novels. A series of them have inexplicably shown up in the break room at work. No one knows where they came from. Jeff is suggesting the Janitor. But if she was going to be leaving old reading material laying around, it would probably be old copies of Dirt Devil manuals.

In any event, several of these books have shown up, each part of a series that chronicles several Native American Indians with large libidos and insatiable desires for timid white women. The covers are tastefully adorned with sterotypical Indians: shirtless, wearing full indian head dress, and shooting a bow and arrow.

What makes them so enticing and popular amongst my fellow coworkers is the particular choice of sexual terms and euphamisis they choose to use.

I must admit that I've been around my share of people with their own share of sexual vulgarity. But I've never heard anyone reference a woman's "pulsating cleft" or one's "moist channel" or either being "filled magnificently with one thrust" for that matter.

The writing reminds me of one of those horrendously delightful episodes of The Match Game, with Jeff and Jess playing the parts of Richard Dawson and Brett Somers, respectively.

Reason No. 58.

On the plus side, Youtube.com is the greatest invention of all time, on which I watched 'Rescue from Gilligan's Island.' On the minus side, I just spent ninety minutes on a Friday night watching 'Rescue from Gilligan's Island.'

(~Maine-A-Mania MMIX~)

2009-07-29T23:59:00.002-04:00

Note: This will probably not be a ringing endorsement for vacationing in Maine.

Richard, vacationing with the Consteins? It happened!

Well that’s a lie, not much really happened. Maine sucks and it is ridiculously expensive and we would have been better served drinking beers and cracking Michael Jackson jokes at the Fairview. It would have cost us (well, those of us who had money to begin with) less money and we could have avoided the harrowing, thirteen hour car drive and boredom that tested all of our sanity.

What follows is my recollection of the parts of six days I spent on my vacation to Maine-A-Mania MMIX. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. Everything actually happened. Nothing here is exaggerated, unlike the stories Brad began fabricating before we even started the drive home.

Holiday Roaaooooaaad

The drive up to Maine is a necessary evil. It’s cheaper than flying, especially when no one volunteers to give College gas money. But in trade for saving some money, you give up any form or semblance of comfort. There is never any leg room, even if you are in the front seat and put your legs up on the dashboard. I don’t care how big the vehicle is, when you cram six people into it, it’s going to be bad. It’s long, it’s unforgiving, and you can’t wait for it to be over. Like every Eagles season.

If any further proof was needed, you should have just seen us any time we pulled into a rest stop. We rolled out of the car looking like we just finished a two out of three falls match with The Natural Disasters.

Beyond that, the trip up was for the most part an unmitigated disaster, due in part to two things: construction traffic jams; and the horrid, putrid smell of Brad’s moccasins.

We started with a minor setback, waiting for Red and getting on the road two hours late. Pushing on, we were making terrific progress. That is, until we entered the not so great state of New Jersey. There, inexplicably, we managed to get into three different construction zone traffic jams. Not that there was any hint of construction going on in two of the three "work zones." Each time they consolidated the highway into one lane. Somehow there was enough traffic on a Tuesday night to turn each spot into a freaking parking lot. It easily added one and half to two hours to the trip. Not good times in New Jersey, and the Nets and Devils both suck.

The second, and decidedly more unbearable, aspect of the drive up that left something to be desired was the wreaking stench emanating from Brad’s so called moccasins. They were really just some old pair of house slippers, but under any name they packed an eye watering punch. And we are ignoring the fact that his underwear was just a pair of black and white striped TGI Friday’s cook pants.

Along the way, we noticed that something was polluting the air inside of the car, but we couldn’t quite place it. It was so bad that we literally had to have the windows down, or it would begin to overpower us, like so much billowing mustard gas. Eric’s girlfriend Natalia was the first to figure that it was coming from Brad. He blamed the odor on the other pair of clothes he had, which were smelly because he had just got them back from lending them to a guy named Sherman, who needed them for work.

While that may have explained why his clothes smelled, it didn’t excuse the fact that he was A) lending and borrowing clothes from another man; B) not washing them upon getting them back; C) putting those unwashed clothes in a plastic bag and taking them as his only other outfit on a vacation; and D) unaware that it was the vile house slippers the entire time anyway.

I’m not sure how they would have become so nauseatingly awful smelling. He claimed in might have been wearing them for weeks on end in the Lancaster heat with no socks. That might explain it, but it doesn’t excuse it.

I can assure you, print description does not do it justice. You would have to smell inside of the moccasins, like I did, to fully appreciate how bad something could smell. How often do you smell something so noxious, that it actually almost makes you throw up? It was so bad, Brad had to stash the moccasins in the garage of the place in which we were staying. As far as I can tell he left them there, so if I were Donna I wouldn’t count on getting back that security deposit.

The Rain in Maine Falls Mainly on the Plain

After the Durango Ride From Hell, Kyle and I were too far out of it and delirious with lack of sleep, that we ended up having no desire or energy to do anything the first two days. It didn’t help that after driving the entire way, we couldn’t rest immediately because we were unsure of where exactly we would be sleeping.

Initially,we were told that we were staying in a nice house right near the place that Gary, Donna, Bill, Mama, Beth, Chloe the dog, Stacey and her two kids. When we arrived, we found that the lady who ran the house in which we were going to stay was not answering her phone. The very real fear existed that we would have to cram (when you count Brad, Eric, Natalia, Matt, Kyle and myself) a mix of 14 people and one dog into a house that was never meant to hold or sleep more than about eight. The place was nice, but there was no way we would co-exist in a place that, if someone was showering on the third floor, it eliminated the possibility of having running water in any other portion of the house. Also factoring in to the panic, the place was not wired for cable and the antennae wasn’t getting any reception.

Luckily, the housing shortage was fixed after Eric made a few calls, the last of which saw him posing as former N.L. MVP and All-Star third baseman, Ken Caminiti. It seemed there was a miscommunication in regard to which time the house would be ready, with a difference of a mere four hours. In any event, a potential disaster was avoided.

Just when we thought the vacation was underway, it was hampered by poor weather. You’d think, it’s July and the weather would be nice in the middle of the summer, but it was not in Maine. The first two days we ran into constant rainstorms and 40 degree weather. Luckily, I had the trusty Adidas hooded sweatshirt. Otherwise I would have ended up like Kyle, who ended up having to buy a pair jeans at the local Wal-Mart.

Most normal people try lobster while visiting Maine. It’s one of the best areas for it. When I went up in 2004, I had a lobster roll, which was nothing more than lobster meat topped with lemon juice on a Kaiser roll. It was one of the five or six best things I’ve ever eaten in my life and I wanted to try it again. Seemed simple enough.

The first night, we went to a steak house. While the steak was good, it was nothing you couldn’t have got in Lancaster for one third the price. After eating, we had to figure out how to divide and cover the check, which might as well have been advanced calculus. It was sort of like the math equations they talked about in Sneakers. In the movie, the equations are so elaborate and difficult, that you can only solve them with the help of a code. In this case, the code was the portion of the bill belonging to Brad and Matt, who managed to contribute $10, even though it barely covered their two shots of Kamikaze. On a side note, we showed up with Gary, Donna, and Mama and met with Bill, Beth Stacy, and her two kids. But it turns out they just got a table for themselves and we had to put our names on the list and wait.

The next day we went to Bar Harbor, a nice little tourist spot. As you can imagine, it’s a bunch of bars and eateries built around a harbor. There are also a lot of gift shops. My favorite was the one place with the audacity to have bowls and bongs for sale under a glass display. They even had the nerve to advertise them as tobacco devices. There was a gas mask attached to a bong on sale that someone probably should have bought, at least for comedy’s sake, but the $75 price tag was a little steep. But that follows suit very nicely compared to the outlandish prices of everything else. A bottle of Heineken? $4.95. Maine Summer Port Ale, which as far as I know could have been made in a basement bathtub? $5.06. It was like drinking at a baseball game.

So Kyle, Brad, Matt, Eric, Natalia, and I get there, and head to this bar & restaurant called Geddy’s, which is nothing more than a crowded, narrow room, with prices that would make Hooter’s blush, where we were supposed to meet up with Gary, Donna, and the rest.

I guess they decided they could not wait, because when we got there, they had decided to seat themselves. Just a total breakdown of communication, that should probably should have been blamed on Brad, but when does anyone go on vacation with a group of people, but, at every turn, leave them hanging? Who tells someone that they are going to meet them at a certain place for dinner, arrive at said place, and they get seats just for themselves and say screw you to the other group? Did they want to eat at the same place, but just not in sight of us?? If that was their plan, how we would even meet up later in the evening if we had to go elsewhere and get on a wait list???

Eric, Natalia, Kyle and I decided to leave, while Matt and Brad decided to stay back and save their dollar (emphasis on singular) and pick from their parents’ plate.

As I mentioned, there were restaurants and bars everywhere. In an area known for great lobster and fresh seafood, where do we end up? You guessed it, a pizzeria. We each got two slices of pizza and a beer, for just $12 each. As we walked into the pizza place, I lamented not being able to get the Lobster Roll. I asked Kyle where we could get one and he wasn’t sure. I asked him if we there was any chance the pizza place would have them. It might not be as good as one you’d get in a real dining restaurant, but it would do. Kyle yelled that it was a pizza place and that, as it seemed, was that.

Resigned to eating pizza that was equal in quality, but double in price of anything I could get in Lancaster County, we ordered and sat down. After eating, Kyle and I were waiting for Eric and Natalia to come out. Standing outside the door, I looked up in the pizzeria window, and noticed a sign that read, "Lobster Roll - $6.50."

Men Behaving Badly

It didn’t take long for recreational drugs to make their presence known. The trip was only a few miles old when I looked back and noticed one person trying to do a certain drug off of a bootleg copy of WrestleMania 25, if you can believe that. I guess my shocked reaction looked amusing, because it made that person start laughing. Which as you might have guessed, sent white powder flying everywhere. Not willing to see it go to total waste, the other person just grabbed him and started sniffing wildly at his shirt. I’m withholding the one person’s name in case someone from the United States Air Force is reading, and I’ll withhold the second person’s name in case Frank Schwartz is reading.

After that initial outburst, things for the most part quieted down. Aside from a few wisecracks directed towards Mama and Brad sunning with his shirt off, people behaved. Then on the final day we had a flare up.

The last day started out well with a trip over the Gary and Donna’s house for a cookout. We followed that with a wiffle ball home run derby, then College and I used an entire box of matches and a full newspaper to get a fire started. In the evening, we left for Bar Harbor once again, as Eric wanted to check out some bar that he heard was pretty cool.

And the bar was sort of cool. They had the Red Sox post game show on the television. I ordered two beers and two Rocky Mountain MF’ers for Brad and I, but the bartender didn’t know to make the shot, so he ended up throwing something together and charging me just $10 total. Either he f’ed up pretty good, or he just skimped us on the alcohol and didn’t feel right totally robbing me.

It was at this bar where the night took a turn for the worse. After making idle threats of destroying the bathroom all night long, one of our party decided to swoop into action as I was urinating in the stall. He went for some pictures hanging on the wall, but they must have dealt with his type of shenanigans before, because they appeared to be bolted to the wall. Not satisfied, he decided to smash the picture glass with a few elbows that would have made Randy Savage smile. Glass went flying everywhere and the sound of it shattering echoed throughout the bathroom. It was our cue to leave. On the way back to the stool, we tried to stifle our laughter, but the others caught on pretty quick. The perpetrator took the others back to show what happened, and more glass was shattered.

Somewhere along the way, Natalia met some girls who suggested we go to another bar up the street. After the glass breaking fiasco was over, we decided to check it out. It turned out to be a shmozz. It was kind of shoddy, not unlike the Fairview Tavern. It also ended up being very lame, not unlike the Fairview Tavern. All of the guys looked like the type that would hit on your girlfriend when you were in the bathroom. The girls that Natalia had met weren’t even there, not that anyone was real broken up over that anyway.

We stayed for a beer and hightailed it out of there. But not before stopping for another bathroom break. I waited with one Constein brother outside of the bathroom, while the aforementioned Constein brother from the last bar was inside creating havoc. If you didn’t know any better, you might have heard the sounds and assumed a bull had been locked in the bathroom. But a bull might have done less damage. Finally, the door opened and we looked inside. Glass Cleaner? Broken in half and its contents spilled everywhere. Soap dispenser? Torn off the wall and in the trashcan. Giant paper towel dispenser that seemed impossible to tear from the wall? Lying in the toilet. It was quite impressive, really. Even as we were trying to leave, he tried to pull the toilet paper dispenser off the wall. But the door was wide open and were able to drag him away before anyone could spot us.

On the way back to the car, we were walking up an alley, when some guy ran through our crowd and was eyeing up Natalia, who had gotten ahead of our group. As the guy was about to say something to her, Matt yelled out, calling him a homo. They guy stopped running and waited for Matt to come up to him. As Matt was trying to explain to the guy that Natalia wouldn’t appreciate him saying anything, the guy pushed Matt. Laughing in his face, Matt lunged back towards him, but was pulled away by Brad and Eric. The guy wasn’t very big, maybe a little tall but skinny. He looked like he wanted to make another move, but appeared to quickly realize it would have been one on five, so he backed off and didn’t say anything.

As we were getting into the car, we say a few guys sprinting into the alley, presumably coming to his aide. If they were a minute quicker we could have had a back alley brawl the likes of Piper-Goldust from Wrestlemania XI or at the very least an elimination style grudge match that would have rivaled the All-American Team vs. the Foreign Fanatics from Survivor Series ’94--with Brad playing the part of Lex Luger, naturally.

It was pretty wild. Just know that it happened this way, just in case you hear Brad bragging that he got in the guys face, or rolled him and stole his wallet. It ended up being a fitting end to our trip to Maine. It was either that or later in the evening when Brad clogged the toilet.

Remembered Quotes:

"WINSTON!"
-Matt Constein

"Any word on Dan?"
-Gary, wondering if Dan was showing up or not.

"Brad, you lying sack of shit!"
-Kyle, but it was on all of our minds, really.

"It probably sounds really disgusting, but I can actually smell it."
Richard, in regard to any variety of things.

"Any word on Dan?"
-Matt, wondering if Dan was showing up or not.

"A hee Hee!"
Everyone at least 100 times

"Any word on Dan?"
-Brad, wondering if Dan was showing up or not.

"When it’s over, can I still come over!?"
-Brad, at the end of an overtime NHL Hitz game, foreshadowing future conversations with Karen.

"And the number one reason why A-Rod won’t make the Hall of Fame….he left the bases juiced! A haha hee hee!"
-Eric/Dave Letterman.

"Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo, rooster go caw-caw, how bout you!?"
Kyle, who had clearly lost his mind.

"I guess Dan isn’t coming…"
Gary, on the last day, almost giving up hope.

message bored culture

2009-04-08T22:24:00.001-04:00

The sort of people you find on just about any sports message board throw me for a loop. They can be as snotty and ignorant as anyone at your local yacht club or high school hall way. If you haven’t made your third disection of the Cowboys defensive end depth chart of the week or your post count hasn’t reached numbers rivaling Pete Rose’s hit totals, you may find yourself ostracized from the in crowd.

Maybe it’s that the people who reak havok on the message boards never made it past high school football, or that they crave a job in the sports world, but never made it in either. I think it's funny that people would think so highly of themselves based on their productivity on a message board. I won’t lie, I think it would be great to be a sports writer or work in the sports field in some capacity. But I never saw the message boards as a way to get your foot in the door. Even if it was, most of the people that live on those boards are not willing to allow new people to participate in the conversation.

At the Sons of Sam Horn site, a gathering place for Red Sox fans, you can’t even join the main message board until you prove yourself on the "junior" or "minor league" board or whatever they are calling in these days. I gave it a try on the junior board last year. I made a few posts but then I realized that didn’t have the time or desire to prove to the moderators that my Red Sox aptitude was up to their lofty standards. I was just looking for a Sox-themed board where I could enjoy reading about the team, maybe strike up a few chats, and hopefully get some information out of Boston, since I live all the way down in Pennsylvania. But, as it is at most boards, it’s not about discussing the Red Sox or having fun, it’s about taking yourself much too seriously.

At the Sons of the Sports Guy Bill Simmons "tribute" board they do not take kindly to new faces either. They actually have classifications for new people to the board, which get listed under your user name whenever you post. I made my first post and was put under "Doug Christie" classification. After I made a few more I got the "pretty whorey" moniker, which I assume means I only stop by for a quickie, violating some unwritten rule that I must spend X amount of my time and energy at the board. Anyways, whenever I do post there, the responses I get are more like an angry parent talking down to a troublesome child. Perish the thought that I would try to add to the conversation. When I posed the question of why the people there read his columns when they obviously hate his writing, I was flame- bombed as a "newbie" or "noob." I also made the unfathomable mistake of making a double post, which drew the ire and rage of nearly everyone reading. I think I got two pages of responses directing unspeakable hate towards me. It was like I was the kid who reminds the teacher that they forgot to assign homework. Angry or condescending responses are something you better get used to when working your way through the boards.

The message board, so to speak, that irks me the most is the comments section at Profootballtalk.com. It's really a glorified blog posing as a legitimate news source run by Mike Florio. When I first found the site, I really liked it and checked it often. It was something new and fresh when compared to the more corporate ESPN website. But the more I read from the posters, the less I could stomach the site. If you read through the comments section, you can find the usual chatter from the holier than thou regulars, along with their undying hatred of the Patriots, Tom Brady, and Bill Belichick. I can understand the hatred, as successful as the Patriots have been, but it seems to border on obsession. To his credit, Florio baits them with a story and the ill will immediately starts. They exhalted with glee when Brady went down with an ACL injury last year and knighted the man who injured him. They called out Belichick as a cheat and a rat who does whatever he pleases after an April Fools joke that he had released the Patriots upcoming schedule early. I hate the Yankees, Steelers, and Alex Rodriguez, but I never found it appealing to go to a message board and rip them incessantly. Before you call me a Boston homer who's crying about guys ragging on my teams, know they also found reason to joke about and make fun of the football players who lost their lives in the boating tragedy off the Florida coast earlier this year.

So what can you expect when you foray into the world of sports message boards?

Expect a cold shoulder. Watch guys expend entirely too much energy trashing a successful player. Look for the guy padding his resume with his post count before he sends it off to the local sports section. And by all means, expect hell, fire, and brimstone if you accidentally click send twice.

Food Pantheon

2009-02-23T23:53:00.001-05:00

I am sure this is just the start of me stealing ideas from Bill Simmons, which will ultimately end as a copy cat anthology. But he's not reading, so on with it.

Without further ado, here is a list of my all time favorite things to eat, the Food Pantheon. It goes to show, until recently, just how unhealthy my eating habits used to be.

No. 5 Hot-Z Pizza with Black Olive and Pineapple

This was a favorite during the stretch where we would frequent Underground beneath the Columbia Hot-Z. I always thought their pizza was quite underrated. And I don't want to hear about some sloppy pie from the local Italian shop, this is a close second to the thin crusts I used to make when I worked at Dominos. Admittedly it was not the most popolar combo, but it had the perfect confluence of great tasting pizza, bland olives and fruity pineapple. As if I were the only human to ever try it, this was almost worth ordering just to see people look at me like I was an alien.

No. 4 Grand Central/Manhattan Bagel's Buffalo Chicken Sandwich

Even when they forgot to leave off the coleslaw (which happened a little too often), this was and is the best version of the buffalo chicken sandwhich I have come across. Chicken, blue cheese dressing, crisp lettuce, and buffalo sauce on bagel, sesame seed or asiago roll. Nicely packed in a little box with a pickle wedge and your choice of macaroni salad, apple sauce, or chips. I love this sandwhich. I've had it for lunch at work more times than I really care to count. But in the interest of being thorough, I'd say it's a fair estimate to say that I had it every day for at least six months. And that is being very conservative. When you add that up, thats five days a week, 20 times a month for six months, at $6.50 a pop, totalling $780.00. That's only $120 less than what I was paying for my car during that stretch. And you wonder how they were able to make that expansion when they changed names to Grand Central.

No. 3 Green Chile Beef & Bean Burrito

Every weekend I'd leave the bar with a hearty appetite and stop at Turkey Hill to grab this killer masterpiece. With a whopping 670 calories, 26 grams of fat, and 1,870 mg of sodium, aside from eating rat poison, this might be the most unhealthy food you could ever eat. But when you add a grab bag of Salt N' Vinegar chips and a Mountain Dew to wash it all down, it's hard to find anything that better caps off a night of binge drinking.

No. 2 Tomato and Mayonaise Sandwich

I've probably eaten more these than any other food in my life. Sliced tomato with mayonaise on white bread. And enough salt to de-ice a highway. I actually started off using Miracle Whip then switched to mayonaise. After my mom told me there were about three times as many calories in mayo, I tried switching back in an attempt to eat healthier. But much like trying to come back to Bud Light after going to Miller Lite, it just isn't the same. I easily ate 2-3 of these a day during summer breaks back in high school.

No. 1 My Mother’s Home Made Noodles

My all time favorite food, made by my mother for as long as I can remember. As far as I can tell, it is just water mixed with flour, rolled into a noodle, and cooked in a pot with chicken broth. It looks like it’s a tremendous pain in the butt to make, and I guess that’s why she doesn’t make it as often as anymore. I usually only get it on my birthday these days, but it’s still good enough to rank number one in my all time favorite food pantheon. Even during that one year when my mother inexplicably thought that I liked it mixed with mashed potatoes.

Conspiracy Theory Pt. 1

2008-11-30T20:41:00.001-05:00

I intended to write this on Saturday, which was the actual 45 th anniversary of the JFK assassination, but Hershey Park and Heineken got in the way, so here we are four days later.

I've never been that dedicated of a student, from grade school through most of college. I never really bothered to study anything or make a concerted effort to master most of the stuff I was taught. I liked history, even majored in it, but nothing outside of the 20th century ever interested me all that much. But if I were ever accused of being an expert on one thing, it would be the JFK assassination. I can remember finding a copy of the November 23rd, 1963 ed. of the Elwood City Ledger at my Grandmother's house and being hooked ever since. I've poured over every conspiracy theory, every book, every TV special, and every documentary over the years that I could probably make an impromptu presentation on the subject, replete with diagrams and the overhead projector slides that I still have from college.

At the outset I was a loyal conspiracy theorist. I ranged from believing, at the very least, Lee Harvey Oswald being one of the shooters and part of a grand plot, to Oswald being totally innocent. There were serious doubts that Oswald alone fired from the Book Depository behind Kennedy. Evidence seemed to suggest there was at least one shooter on the grassy knoll, perhaps even 2-3 more gunmen hidden throughout Dealy Plaza. There were too many funky inconsistencies in mind to justify one shooter.

The Warren Commission found that Oswald got off three shots from the Book Depository behind the President with an old rifle in about five seconds. Such a short window of opportunity to get off the unbelievably accurate shots. The so-called "Magic Bullet" that traveled through Kennedy's back and throat, through Texas Governor John Connally's back, chest, then through his wrist, and finally lodging into his left thigh. One bullet caused seven wounds through two men, and was found in Parkland Hospital in nearly "pristine" condition. The Warren Commission even had the nerve to publish test photos of bullets shot through goat cadavers that were almost totally smashed and flattened. Then the final fatal head shot, that saw Kennedy's head explode and snap violently back and to the left, which would indicate to most that the head shot came from the front and to the right--in the direction of the grassy knoll.

Afterwards, several witnesses said they heard more than three shots, and some may have come from directions away from Oswald's supposed Book Depository sniper's nest. If you look at film taken during the assassination you can see hoards of people running up the knoll, where they thought the shots had come from. Police officer Marion Baker, in his own estimation, came across Oswald in the second floor lunch room of the Book Depository a maximum of 90 seconds after the final shot was fired. He confirmed Oswald was an employee and proceeded further into the building. Baker said Oswald did not show any signs of nervousness or apprehension, which is odd considering he has shot the most powerfull man on the planet, run down four flights of stairs, and directly into a cop, all within a minute and a half. It was said Oswald then left the building and took a bus home to grab his jacket and revolver. Oswald would then proceed to shoot Dallas police officer J.D. Tippet on his way to sneaking into a movie theatre, where he would be later caught and arrested. While in custody, Oswald would profess his innocence in the Kennedy and Tippet murders, all the while calling himself a "patsy," furthering the notion that he was the fall guy left to take the rap for a larger faction.

None of the ballistic evidence made any sense. None of Oswald's actions made any sense. The prevailing thought amongst non-believers was that, even if there was no conspiracy in place, the Warren Commission settled on the scenario that Oswald did the shooting alone from the Book Depository at the begginning and their investigation ignored any evidence that pointed elswhere. That belief put a serious cloud over the quality and legitimacy of the official investigation and its finding that Oswald was the sole gunman. And once you have trouble believing the investigation was done in good faith, it's not a big jump to think they had other motives in mind. Especially when Oswald ends up being shot and killed—while in police custody—by Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby, a man considered to be at least a low-level gangster and at best having high-ranking mob ties. It is argued by conspiracy theorists that Ruby silenced Oswald before he could tell the police of his role in a larger plot.

I've read nearly every conpiracy minded book possible. Their objections range from questions regarding Oswald's ability to get three shots off in the time frame allowed, the near impossibility of the Magic Bullet causing seven wounds in Kennedy and Connally and ending up virtually undamaged, to Oswald's activities while living in Russia and being a professed Communist.

If not Oswald then, who else would have a vested interest in removing Kennedy from office? The list of suggested conspirators are long and varied:

-Mobsters, angry with the Kennedy administration for waging war against organized crime, including interfering in Mafia-controlled gambling industries in Cuba
-Fidel Castro, angry that the US had helped anti-Castro Cuban exiles try to invade Cuba and for US plots to assassinate him
-Anti-Castro Cubans, angry that Kennedy had decided at the last second to not provide air cover during the Bay of Pigs invasion
-Renegade elements in the CIA and Armed Forces, angry at Kennedy for stripping the CIA of the majority of it's powers after the Bay of Pigs incident and for his unwillingness to escalate US involvement in Vietnam, respectively
-Business interests like Bell Helicopter, who stood to lose billions of dollars if the US were to not persue heavier involvement in Vietnam

With motives so closely tied to one another, it's easy to see how they can fuel ideas of grand collaboration and wide reaching conspiracy with several or all of the above listed groups. And all of which Oswald may or may not have been connected with. At different points of his life, he has been tied to pro-Castro and anti-Castro causes. He served in the Army and may or may not have been working with the CIA at the time of the assassination, something many theorists believe. While living in Texas, Oswald socialized with engineers from Bell Helicopter.
But if there is one work that is the flag bearer for conspiracy theory thought, it is surely Oliver Stone's 1991 film JFK. The movie is a big screen send up of the investigation of Jim Garrison into Oswald's dealings in New Orleans, LA in the year or so prior to the assassination, but also incorporates most every other theory (except those involving Chuck Norris) that has been thrown out. The movie follows Oswald's involvement with the aforementioned pro- and anti- Castro Cubans, Mafia, big business interests, and shadowy CIA and military figures as he is recruited as the scapegoat for the murder of the President. As a pro-conspiracy buff, it's the ultimate example you could show someone in hopes of drawing them to your side of the fence and works quite well for those who get their history from the movies and TV. It's unfortunate that the majority of the facts in the movie are fudged or outright incorrect, but it's a great piece of film-work, regardless.

But for every one plausible theory, there are three to four that eclipse it in sheer outrageousness. I have come across several books and videos over the years with such ludicrous stories like these:

-The Texas bounty hunter who taught Ruby and Oswald to use rifles and was persuaded by Lyndon Johnson to keep the story quiet during a skinny dip
-The Parkland Hospital doctor who got a phone call from Johnson in the ER, asking him to keep any medical evidence that might indicate a shot from the front to himself
-The shadowy intelligence agent who recruited Oswald to fake an assassination attempt on Kennedy to get the President to increase security measures. Then actually shot the President himself in order to pin it on Oswald.

Presented with the above information (minus the more silly theories), it might be enough to convince you that there was a conspiracy, or at least make you hesistant to deny the possibility. So I became an adamant believer of Oswald's innocence. The chances of the Magic Bullet causing seven wounds was a little too hard to believe. The backwards head snap seemed to prove the fatal shot came from the front not the back. I had trouble buying that Oswald was able to shoot the President and then race down four floors of stairs and run into a police office and not just freak out a little. Tests taken on his hands failed to show that he had fired a weapon. Initially, police were unable to find fingerprints on his gun. It seemed to leave at least some reasonable doubt that he might not have even fired a gun. When you throw in the Mob/Ruby, CIA, Bell Helicopter, and Castro connections, it seems like the perfect storm for a conspiracy.

So why now, after so many years of believing in conspiracy, do I think Oswald did the entire shooting by himself with no collaboration?...coming in part 2.

Paradise Lost or the 2008 New England Patriots

2008-10-12T23:00:00.002-04:00

Earlier this year, after the Patriots had defeated the Chargers in the AFC Championship game, I was quite elated. The Patriots were 18-0 and looked to have lucked out by getting the NY Giants in the Super Bowl.

That was nine months ago, and it might as have been nine years ago. In their next two games, they blew the Super Bowl with a stunning loss to the Giants and then lost Tom Brady for the season with a disasterous ACL injury in this year's season opener.

How the mighty have fallen. The days of last fall where they had 49 points at half time against Miami, or at one point led the RedSkins 52-0, are long gone.

The loss of Brady, more than anything, has magnified how bad the defense and offensive line have become. Last year, those two units were showing signs of slipping, but when you had Tom Brady throwing 50 touchdowns it was a little easy to gloss over. How bad could the defense be when they were winning games by 49 points? How much of a sieve could the offensive line be when Brady was zinging passes to Wes Welker across the slot or fifty yards downfield to Randy Moss?

With a defensive front that, on paper, would appear to the best three man unit in the NFL, they cannot even put up a facade of a pass rush. Their corners are beatable from play to play. With an offensive line that sent three players to last years Pro Bowl, they can't provide any sort of run blocking.

The bigger problem is Matt Cassel as Brady's replacement. What's killing the offense, more than his inability to hit a receiver in stride, or his ability to throw passes directly into defender's hands, or his rampant over and under throwing, is the coaching staff's complete lack of confidence in allowing Cassel to throw the ball downfield. Last year the Patriots set any number of offensive records by slinging the ball deep to Randy Moss. This year with Cassel, they have successfully thrown deep to Moss once, a 66 yard touchdown to Moss against the meager 49ers. The other handfull of times they have allowed him to try, he has grossly underthrown or overthrown Moss. He also has shown a proficiency at holding on to the ball entirely too long, leading to sacks, fumbles, and spending an inordinate amount of time running for his life. All coming from a guy, who seemed destined to be cut after a putrid preseason.

Now, with Cassel at quarterback, the offense has become totally inept. Laurence Maroney couldn't find a hole to run through with global positioning device. Not that he can stay healthy for two weeks in a row anyway. Wes Welker has come down to earth after catching more than 100 balls last year. Moss has been relegated to running routes with no real zeal because he has no real expectation that the ball can make it to him.

The normally wise Gary Constein would tell me that no one player makes a team. That there are 22 guys out there to decide a game, win or lose. But with the loss of one player, the Patriots have proverbally gone from a silk purse to a sow's ear.

Current Mood: Well, the Red Sox better win tomorrow.
Current TV: Chargers 30, Patriots 3

Trying Not to Waste My Vacation

2008-09-11T23:11:00.002-04:00

I cashed in my vacation at work and I am off for 11 days. That I was able to score the vacation at all was a minor miracle. But the bigger challenge is going to be for me to use the time wisely.

I originally had planned to go to Florida. But when I moved into the apartment, that was no longer financially possible. I haven't been on a real vacation since I went to Canada in 2000. So with no real plans, I am going to be around town for nearly a week and a half. I'm hoping to get a new job in the near future, so I figured it would be alot easier to get it all out of the way sooner than later.

That's not to say I have nothing to do. I have my TGI Fridays fantasy football draft and College Boy's annual Labor Day picnic on Sunday. I was hoping to try a little pitch n putt and my birthday is on Saturday. The NFL also starts up next weekend, so there is a chance of having some actual fun. I could also use the time to rest up my aching body.

The thing is, I'm not getting any younger. I always get the feeling that I'm wasting my golden years. So, I am kind of counting on having some great memories in the next 11 days. In reality, I just hope I don't end up stuck in the house, watching TV and annoying girls on Myspace the entire time.

DAY ONE - Saturday August 30th, 2008

I woke up with a slight hangover after having a few beers at the Fairview Tavern Friday night. Nothing major, I was able to wake up at a reasonable hour and have coffee and an english muffin. From there, I finished my game of College Football's National Championship on *Sega Genesis*.

Later in the afternoon, I watched a good portion of a Coach marathon that ran all day. It's kind of hokey, one of the games they were playing in was called the Pop Corn Bowl. Overall not a bad show, though. The thing about Coach is, what in the world happened to the people on that show? I can't remember anything from Craig T. Nelson or the guy who played Luther. After checking the internet, I did find that the tall guy who played the moron Dauber is actually the voice of Patrick on SpongeBob Square Pants. That's fairly interesting, but I'm sure that anyone who knows him as Patrick has no clue who Dauber is, and anyone who knows him from Coach has never seen SpongeBob. It works for nostalgia purposes I guess.

By evening, I had hit the proverbial wall. Although you could probably say that I already hit it head on, right before watching 3 hours of the Coach marathon. I spent the majority of the evening on the internet before watching the Red Sox - White Sox game on WGN. I soon tired of that and went grocery shopping.

Let's take a moment here. I'm still pretty young, in age, if not particularly feeling it. I like to have fun, I like to hang out. I spent a Saturday night in the prime of my life...grocery shopping. I'm 27 right? Did I wake up after a 30 year nap and not realize it? I looked around and the only people in Redner's were senior citizens. Next thing you know, i'll be playing Bingo with Aunt Shirley and Grandma Granny.

It was kind of a downer, but in retrospect the likely alternative was probably going out to the bar . I've sort of mellowed out on going to the bar in my older years. I've come to realize that it's a giant waste of money and ultimately a hazard to your health, in several more ways than one.
So, it's safe to say that I am not off to a good start. Tomorrow looks to be better. Fantasy drafts are usually a lot of fun and College Boy's cook outs always seem to offer up something memorable. I hope.

DAY TWO - Sunday August 31st, 2008

We had our annual TGI Fridays fantasy football draft at Annie Bailey's in downtown Lancaster. AB's is one of those old style designed Irish Pubs. It's a nice place and it looks real old. It's also one of those places that screams, "We're Irish!" which follows the trend these days of people getting on their high horse and drinking Guiness like maniacs. Which isn't a bad thing, but I didn't see anyone waving their Ireland flag until it became en vouge.

I picked up Brad at his place and we met up with the old gang. I was surprised that there was none of the old hostility with Blymeir and Eric or myself. We never got along all that well. Shane was his usual hilarious self and Brad was at the very least on marajuana, if not a combination of that and a few other things. Anyway, my team looks decidedly average. Should be good for 7-10 wins and a playoff spot, so I'll be happy, I think. I've got alot of depth. Of course, my centerpiece is Thomas Brady. He alone should get me three wins.

Afterwards, we ventured over to College Boy's Labor Day cook out, where there is usually something to remember. Like the one time Kyle danced with his pants and underwear at his ankles, or when Josh and he smashed their heads together, or when they tricked me into wearing a woman's bathing suit. There was nothing like that this time, but it was fun. It's funny, when we go to these things there is always a divide, where Kate's family is on one side and Kyle's family and me are on the other. I don't blame them, I think they are a little put off by the beer, cigarettes, and sports arguments. Even more so, by the Royal Rumble that we had in the yard last time. We were giving each other leg drops and clotheslines and we were drilling each other with lawn chairs.

I did get into my contractually obligated sports and politics arguments with Gary Constein. I informed him that Manny Ramirez sucks, Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time, both the Red Sox and Patriots are winning championships this year, and that the National League should be renamed AAAA Baseball. I also argued that President Bush is not a bad president, and Barrack Obama doesn't have a magic wand that is going to change gas prices, and that the world is a better place without Saddam Hussein in power. I don't think I changed his mind on anything, and he did call me an asshole afterwards, but it was fun, if not entertaining for anyone listening.

We ended up drinking a lot of Molson Canadian (i'll never learn), making fun of each other (always a blast), and playing horeshoes (???). Overall it was a lot of fun, even if the volleyball net was broken and we didn't even try to rig it back up. Eventually I was the last one left. Mark called and said there was an End of the Summer Party at Trio.

So after all that, I went down to the Trio (not a very good decision) to see what the party would look like. I tried to wade my way through the hoard of people on the deck, until I realized that I knew absolutely no one and decided to go back to the bar. I had a beer there and chatted with Amanda and Kelley for a while, then decided to have a shot of tequila. I really never learn. I took that and decided to go back to the deck to see if anyone that I actually knew had shown up. One the way, I happened upon a table of food that I guess the bar or the organizer of the party had laid out for everyone. At least I hope it was for everyone, because I had about 10 of the steak, mushroom, green pepper, and onion shishkabobs. They were delicious and I devoured them, even if the people who walked by looked at me like I was a lion eating a raw gazelle. A few of the looks were a little too condescending and the tequilla was starting to set in, so I figured it was a good time to get home.

I did get home fine and dandy, but I have little memory of the rest of the evening. On the upside, a quick check of MySpace and Facebook showed that I didn't leave any potentially embarrassing comments to any girls, but on the downside, I have at the very least a sprained foot, which ultimately could be a broken fourth toe. Don't know what happened there.

We'll call day two a success, if only because it was a hell of a lot better than Saturday.

DAY THREE - Monday September 1st, 2008

Needless to say, after last night's transgressions, Monday ended up being a rest day. Other than doing laundry, which was way overdue, not a lot went down.

I woke up with quite a hangover. Dragged myself to the kitchen for a little breakfast, then began the always nervous search to make sure I didn't lose my cell phone, keys, contacts, or wallet. Luckily everything was safe and sound.

There was nothing to watch on television, for which there is little excuse. Any time someone has off for a holiday, there should be back to back to back awesome movies on TV. But there was nothing of note, so as I feared, I spent a good part of the day on the internet.

After a long nap, I went over to my parents house, for their "cookout." Which was okay, only if you didn't mind that all the food was cooked five hours beforehand. And since I felt like shit the whole day anyway, it didn't take very well regardless. My Aunt Joyce was over with her beau, but I didn't see her all that much, because the sunlight was affecting me like it would a vampire. Going did allow me to have this exchange with my three year old neice, Tianna:

Tianna: My shirt has a red butterfly and a blue butterfly...
Me: That's pretty, where did you get it?
Tianna: I got this t shirt at Ocean City, Maryland
Me: Oh yeah, what's down there? (thinking beach, boardwalk)
Tianna: T shirts.

Maybe you had to be there, but her response was dead pan, like, "haven't you been paying attention!?"

I felt a little better after taking a shower and was able to relax the rest of the night. Got to watch the Red Sox beat the Orioles and chilled out. Overall, i'd liken Monday to Brady going 17-30, 178 yards passing, 1 TD and a fumble. Economical. I was going to have today paid off anyway, so I'm content.

DAY FOUR - Tuesday September 2nd, 2008

Well, it was bound to happen. A day where nothing was accomplished. A boring, lazy day where no memories were created.

I woke up early and had breakfast as usual. Then I watched Sportscenter and checked out Patriots and Red Sox news on the Boston Globe website.

Later, I went to Turkey Hill to pick up a copy of the USA Today. Came home, had a roast beef sandwhich and watched 4-6 episodes of Married...With Children on You Tube.

After waking from another nap, I figured I didn't want the day to be a total waste, so I went out to Ollie's Bargain Outlet and Borders to see if there were any books available that I could mow through over vacation. If you've ever been to Ollie's book section, you'd know that, while the prices are hard to beat, the book selection is for shit. There was nothing there, unless you fancied Faithfull from horror master Stephen King and nameless hack Stewart O'Nan on audio cassestte. Border's had the bigger selection of quality books, but lacked the cheap price tag that I was looking for.

Anyways, while I was at Ollie's, Fries called from Trio and asked me to come out. I went out for a handfull of beers, where we discussed taxes, Presidental candidates, and sports. We took the party home and tried to play Sega Genesis while drunk, which didn't work out all that well. Fries ended up running to the bathroom in the middle of it all to yak, so it was a nice capper to the evening.

So, we'll call day four a total wash.

DAY FIVE - Wednesday September 3rd, 2008

Today meant getting rid of another slight hangover. I woke up, made breakfast, and listened to Colin Cowherd's radio show for a bit. Loafed around, watched an episode of Jeopardy that had Ken Jennings. He demolished the two ladies playing with him. I missed final Jeopardy, but one lady was in the negatives, one lady had $4,000, and Ken had $40,000.

I always wonder how I'd do on the show. I surprised the hell out of my parents when I was five and got the Final Jeopardy answer correct. Somehow I knew it was The Monkees. My dad and I used to bet five dollars on Final Jeopardy all the time, and there was an incident after I actually beat him for once. I can't remember what the answer was, but it was hard and I made a good guess. We handed our slips to my Mom, and when it turned out that I had won, my Dad got pissed and accused me of watching the episode when it played an hour earlier. I don't even think he gave me the money.

Later on, the Red Sox had a day game against Baltimore. I always liked day games when I had a day off. Always seemed like a bonus. The Sox were lethargic for about seven innings, losing 4-0. They got two in the 7th, two in the eighth, and scored the winning run on a wild throw to third in the 9th. One of those great come back wins late in the year that help momentum wise moving towards the playoffs. They are really hitting well since the Manny trade and Beckett is coming back Friday, so I am fully confident that they are winning the World Series again. Happy times in Title Town, USA.

After all that, I went to another soft ball practice for the work team. I thought I felt horrible after the first two practices. I felt like hell about 2 minutes into the practice today. I think it might have been due to the drinking from the night before, followed by not really eating anything before going, but I was running around like Andre Dawson circa 1993 today. I think it will turn around if I actually stretch beforehand next time.

In any case, it was fun going out and playing and the Red Sox game was fun, so today worked out fine. Tomorrow should involve some pitch n putt golf, so that's something to look forward to.

DAY SIX - Thursday September 4th, 2008

Unfortunately, these 11 days of vacation seem to be flying by. Only five days left after today. And I still haven't done anything all that great. But, it was pointed out to me that its 1000x times better than actually working, so I should count my blessings.

I woke up bright and early this morning to play pitch n putt with College Boy over at Ever Green. Now, it was fun and I enjoyed myself, but I am horrible at golf. Absolutely absymal. The main problem is that I cannot hit off of a tee. I hit more line drives, slices, and hooks it seemed than times I teed off. Any time that I line drived my way off the tee into a decent lie in the "fairway" I managed to screw it up by messing up the chip. Or I got a hold of it alright, but launched it 20 feet past the green. I had four 7's and about 10 6's. I didn't make less than two putts any time that I made the green, and I thought that putting would be the best part of my game.

But cleary the most interesting shot was my attempt at teeing off that missed, with no exaggeration, an 80 year old lady's face by mere inches. I put the ball on the tee, then tried to focus and keep my eye on the ball. I swung, and the ball immediately sliced (or hooked--whichever it is when it goes right). As soon as I could locate the ball, I saw it heading for the woman, who was bending over to pick up her own ball. I saw it going towards her, but I couldn't seem to yell "watch out!" College Boy got a "fore!" out just in time that she was able to look up, see it heading for her face, and artfully dodge it by about six inches.

After it flew by her, and I saw her "did you try that on purpose, because no one can be that bad?" look, I turned to Kyle for a little "it happens to the best of us" assurance. But Kyle was crouched down, shaking his head with his face in his hands. Add that disaster to the fact that I ended up a whopping 54 strokes over par (when no hole is over a par three), and it made for a thoroughly embarassing morning. But like I said, it was fun.

So that was my morning. The evening brought the begginning of the new NFL season. Even if it was the Giants playing the Red Skins. I have to wait for Sunday to see the Patriots first game, but tonight also brought the start of a new Fantasy Football year. I nearly forgot how fun and maddening it can be at the same time. It also gives you a reason to care about games or players you wouldn't give a damn about under any other circumstances. Like Plexico Burress. The same wide receiver that caught the game winning touchdown in the Super Bowl against the Patriots. He's on my team, and I was rooting for the Giants to get the ball back at the end, that they might throw one more ball to him. That's the beauty of fantasy football, if I didn't play, I'd be pulling for him to dislocate both of knee caps.

Add up the golf and fantasy football, multiply it by one million since I wasn't stuck at my desk, trying to figure out how I'd get through the day, and it was a great day. I'm going to savor every second until Wednesday at 8am.

DAY SEVEN - Friday September 5th, 2008

Pedestrian. I took pleasure in doing nothing.

I woke up early and tried to make breakfast. Tried. For a lifelong bachelor like myself, it was no easy task. I figured I would have some OJ, coffee, eggs, and bacon. Easier said than done.

To start, the bacon was frozen. I don't know if you ever tried, but pulling apart frozen bacon is no easy task. I ended up breaking apart twenty or so peices and frying them up. At the same time, I tried to start my scrambled eggs. While I was waiting for the bacon to sizzle, I neglected my eggs. They ended up frying like an omlette. I tried to save them, but I ended up with your usual runny eggs omlettle. I had hoped to enjoy some coffee with my breakfast, but as I tried to save the eggs, that went by the wayside. While tending to the eggs, I neglected the bacon.
So I sat down to my laptop, reading about the Pats and Sox on the Globe website, with runny, gross eggs and my burnt bacon.

Now, I cannot forsee having a girl over for the night anywhere in the near future, but if it ever happens and they expect a decent breakfast the next morning, I am going to need a lot of practice.

I got my paycheck from TFP and relaxed for a little at home. Later, I went to the Scare-View for a few drinks. I passed the time playing Mega-Touch, the ultimate waste of money at any bar.

I made it home and regretted ever leaving.

DAY EIGHT - Saturday September 6th, 2008

The birthday. Twenty-eight years old, with emphasis on old. For the most part I like my birthday. I'm a history guy, so dates and anniversaries are interesting and important to me. But another year older? Before I know it, I am going to be thirty. That's no offense to anyone who's thirty or fifty, but to me it's crazy. Perhaps I feel that I've had 28 years to accomplish things and they haven't happened yet. It's already been ten years since I finished high school. As fast as that decade has come to pass, the next ten will come and go and I'll be nearing 40! Maybe it's a good thing that I realize we only have so many years on this planet and you shouldn't take them for granted. Heh, with age comes wisdom.

I woke up Saturday morning regretting my stop at the Scare-View from the night before. I hung around, basically doing nothing for the first half of the day. I was pretty bored, so I set up another season of Madden '08 to coincide with the new NFL season. That's always a pain in the ass, trying to set the rosters, creating rookies, and getting everything perfect. I got the Patriots roster set and went through the training camp and preseason stages. After the last preseason game, I noticed that Matt Cassel, Tom Brady's backup quarterback, was injured with a broken tail bone and was out for the season (It's bad omens like those that should have put me on high alert for Sunday).

So I played a few games before heading over to my parents house for the regular family birthday deal. I got some gifts, including a three month supply of contact lenses, gift cards, and cash (the best kind of present). We did the Happy Birthday deal, which surprised me because Tianna knew all the words, and had cake and ice cream. Which I don't even really like. I never eat ice cream. There is so much sugar in both, that after eating, the glucose load makes me feel like shit for hours. Anyways, it was fun.

For the evening festivities, I went to Trio for some beers with College Boy, his parents, and Fries. I had a good time and I wasn't even forced to take wild cocktails of shots that would have killed me before 10 p.m. College Boy and I entertained ourselves with Ghostbusters quotes and the evil Mega-Touch machine. Gary brought his A Game of direct personal insults, and I wouldn't have expected, or asked for, anything less. Being my birthday, I was on the receiving end of two packs of cigarettes and three bags of sunflower seeds (?), but strangley no beers.
I left the Trio for home, watched some television and started gearing up for the start of football the next day, for which I had very high hopes.

DAY NINE - Sunday September 7th, 2008

Or, as it shall be henceforth know, The Day the Patriots Season Died.

I woke up early, ready for football season. I was quite excited; made some breakfast and got the lap top out to read over any Patriots news and fine tune my fantasy teams. I played a game of Madden to further get me in the mood for the Patriots Chiefs game at One.

The only games on at home were an appalling Eagles-Rams game and a nauseating Steelers-Texans matchup, so Fries and I left for the Trio since they have the NFL Ticket. I got there and was surprised at the lack of Patriots haters. Last year, it was nearly unbearable.

So, the game was going along somewhat fine, even if Wes Welker fumbled the ball and the Patriots ended up having to punt. The defense looked good; they were not allowing Kansas City to run the ball and forced a punt.

The Patriots got the ball back and everything came crashing down. Brady dropped back to pass and launched a pass that Randy Moss came back to snag. As the camera was panning left to follow the flight of the ball, I saw Brady get nailed low on the knees. Moss ended up fumbling the ball, which the camera focused on, but I didn't like the look of the hit. While they settled who had recovered the fumble, Dan Deirdorf was yelling that Brady was down. When they finally panned back to him, he was curled up, clutching his knee.

As a Pats fan, it was about the worst possible thing that could happen. They are/were Super Bowl favorites, due in part to them having a lot of talent on both sides of the ball. But without Tom Brady, the chances of them winning the championship seem all but lost. Guys like Gary will say it's just one player and one player doesn't win a championship. But when that one player is Tom Brady (who I'll argue is the greatest QB of all time and the best player in the league), its enough to end my hopes. It appears to be a torn ACL and he's going to miss the rest of the season.

So that leaves the Pats with Matt Cassel. The same guy who was horrendous in preseason and who I can't believe wasn't cut before the season started. Tom Brady threw more touchdown passes last year alone, than Cassel has completed passes in college AND pro combined.

With that said, he didn't look all that bad. He started the first drive on his own 1 yard line and moved the offense down the field 99 yards for a TD to Moss. He's got a lot of talent to work with on offense, and he knows the system, and yeah, I'm trying to talk myself into the Matt Cassel Era in New England. Word is that they are bringing in Chris Simms for a work out, and if he has anywhere near the talent his dad did, I'd probably rather see him lead the offense.

As you might guess, the rest of the day didn't go all that swell. The Patriots did win, but I was pretty shell-shocked about Brady for the remainder of the day. Saving Private Ryan was on TNT, which got my mind off football for a good bit and I was able to watch The Honeymooners later in the evening. You gotta love Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton. Classic TV, Ralphie boy!
Two days left. Monday is the first softball game, so I should be back with a whole new rash of injuries to complain about. Tuesday I am going to be the laziest ass possible.

DAY TEN - Monday September 8th, 2008

Second to last day, no need to do anything crazy. Went grocery shopping in the afternoon. I used the gift card I got for my birthday, so I was able to spurge a little. I got the good chicken nuggets this week. With a little BBQ and honey mustard, that's good eating. I'm still afraid/incapable of cooking any real food beyond rice or rigatoni, so for the most part I stuck to the mircowavable stuff.

Later in the afternoon, I watched approximately my 30th and 31st episodes of Married...With Children on You Tube.

Beyond actual computers and the internet themselves, You Tube is the greatest invention of all time. Anything you want is on You Tube. From episodes of The Honeymooners to Aaron Bailey almost catching the hail mary against Pittsburgh in the '95 AFC Championship Game (and by God, if only he had caught it, that day would easily be in my top ten favorite days of all time). Anything you want. I actually watched a film they made of the electrocution of the guy who killed President McKinnley, that was made in 1901!

Evening brought our first game in the work softball league. I played first base, which isn't my favorite position, even if it likely meant the least movement of anyone on the field. I was a little worried about covering the bag on ground balls.

But, boy, were those fears uneccessary. Because every hit seemed to be smashed over my head into the outfield. They crushed balls into every gap, over the outfielders heads, and seemingly any other spot where our fielders were not. I only had about two or three times where I had to actually play first, which if you're scoring at home, doesn't bode well for the team. That's right, the return of the old Ten Run Rule. I think it was after five innings, which was at least a little better than our team the first year we played. Also returning, was my patented third strike foul out. I watched the first five pitches without swinging, "working" a 3-1 count. Then after a strike to make it 3-2, I naturally swung at a pitch that would have probably hit me in the knee if I had let it go.

But it's fun and exercise. I didn't pull anymore muscles either. We had a small cheering crowd from the store, which is nice, even it most of the cheering I heard was Mike making various sexual advances.

Finshed off day ten with the double header of Monday Night Football. Which I was surprising able to stomach, if only for fantasy purposes, after the Tom Brady incident the day before.

DAY ELEVEN - Tuesday September 9th, 2008

Winding down on the last day. I wasn't able to sleep in as I would have liked. So I got up early and moped around.

I didn't want to loaf around all day, so I forced myself to dress and made my first ever trip to a Dunkin' Donuts. I've been on a giant coffee kick lately and American Runs on Dunkin', so their's had to be good right?. I've also been trying to find a maple frosted donut since I had one at Krispy Kreme in Baltimore in 2005. So I left, even if it is quite a drive for coffee and a donut. I got there, and naturally, they were all out of maple donuts. Damn it. So i had the coffee and a vanilla iced donut. The donut was good, but the coffee left a little to desired. Good, but not spectacular. It's funny, the best coffee I've ever had is still the generic stuff they use at TGI Fridays.

I came home, listened to a little Cowherd, watched another couple of Married..With Childrens, and took a nap. Woke up when Fries came home and watched The Best of Will Ferell SNL DVD. That's always good for a laugh, even if it's mostly from watching JImmy Fallon crack up in half of the skits.

By evening, we were truly winding down. Watched a Ghostbusters 1 & 2 double shot, which was all the more funny after College Boy and I spent half of my birthday coming up with great quotes and laughing our asses off. Finished off the night watching Baseball Tonight and surfing the net. Vacation over, fun over. Back to work at 8am tomorrow.

RECAP

So did I waste my vacation? Did everything go well?
That's hard to say. After Monday's softball practice, my physical well being was a diaster. I hurt my shoulder, pulled all of my hamstrings and had about three groin pulls. Walking and getting out of bed took a lot of extra effort. Golf nearly became a disaster when I just missed hitting an old lady in the face with one of my tee shots. Disaster struck when Tom Brady tore his ACL and was lost for the year, simultaneously ruining the Patriots chances at the Super Bowl and my fantasy season, all in eight minutes. Our softball season started out disasterously, getting ten run ruled 15-1.

But as I type this, What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong is playing on AOL Radio. With that in the backdrop, how can I not be happy and/or satisfied? I was fortunate enough to get 11 days off, all paid. I didn't go to Florida, but I spent time with my friends, drank some beer, watched sports, played sports, argued sports and history with Gary at the picnic, watched tv, watched movies, slept in, had a fun birthday and didn't go blind, get paralyzed or die. I got to do everything I like to do and avoided everything I hate to do. I need to win the lottery, I could very easily get used to this. See you next year.

Poor Richard's Back

2008-08-28T23:41:00.001-04:00

The That Fish Place softball team is back and I joined the team. I played for the first incarnation a few years back. Hopefully we'll have a better team than back then, when, in our first year we got 10 run ruled our first eight games. Seriously, we didn't get out of the 3rd inning until game nine.

We've had three practices, and three times I've gone home feeling all of 100 years old. My shoulder is like Jell-O. My quads, hamstrings, and back are killing me. I was catching for a bit during the first practice and it killed my knees. Afterwards, I tried to get up and my legs all but buckled. I must look like Evel Knievel any time I get out my chair at work anymore.
It's partially my fault. I haven't been all that physically active since we stopped playing hockey; it's been a few years since we had the team together. It's funny because that's probably the reason for half of my pain. I thought nothing of playing with pulled muscles or sprains, making them worse in the long run. I played games with the worst groin injury anyone has ever had. I mean it. It had to have been at least partially torn. I couldn't walk straight or even stand up to use the bathroom without tremendous pain. Walking up a set of stairs was a nightmare. As bad as that was, it wasn't the half of it. I severely sprained my left knee and both of my wrists and fell directly on both of my elbows without pads countless times. One time, I sprained my wrist, my hand, and suffered the worst bruised ass cheek that anyone would ever admit to--on the same play.

While I might jokingly refer to myself as the King of Work, I can assure you that I am the King of Sprained Ankles. I've turned the left and right so many times, that on occasion, I can almost sprain them again, walking on flat ground.
So, I've noticed it creeping up on me, but when the hell did I get so old? Alot of days I feel like an old man with various aches and pains. I've got grey hair for heaven's sake. I'm only 27! I guess I am paying for not taking care of myself the last couple of years. Everything adds up and takes a toll.

I'm hoping that playing on the team will get me back to a somewhat better physical condition. It might take 10 practices and 3 games before I stop waking up feeling like Jim Otto, but I think it will be fun. We look to have some good players, including actual living breathing girls--something largely missing first time around. I guess all I can hope for is avoiding another major groin injury followed by a trip to the 15 day disabled list. Because I'd really hate to interrupt normal bathroom procedure.

Current Mood: women suck
Current Music: ...Keith Urban, You'll Think of Me. Don't look at me, it came up on AOL Radio.
Can't Wait For: Getting through eight hours of work tomorrow and starting 11 days off!

The value and existence of turn signals

2008-07-27T23:35:00.002-04:00

Without question, the most annoying, frustrating, nerve racking part of my life is driving my car. I have the grey hair to prove it. The staggering amount of horrible drivers on the road can make a peaceful Sunday drive through the country seem like a mission in Grand Theft Auto.

They'll give a license to anyone. Old people that drive too slow. Young kids who drive too fast. All you have to do is take a silly exam that asks you recognize what a stop sign looks like and your road ready. Proceed to the road test. If you're able to operate a car in a 15 foot area, where the only damagable objects are orange barrels and a few rusty shopping carts, you are ready to hit the highway, where the only damagable objects are telephone poles and my spinal cord.

The first thing my dad told me when teaching me to drive was to use my turn signal. Nothing pissed him off more and, in turn, nothing pisses me off more. Maybe the least difficult thing you can do, simply extend a finger and flick the lever. A simple hint for the guy coming up behind you. It says, "Hey I'm making a right here, don't try to swing around or you'll broadside me!" But so few people actually use them, you end up playing the guessing game. If you think i'm letting you out without signaling you are mistaken.

It's not just car drivers you have to worry about; bike riders can cause all sorts of trouble as well. Whether it's the Lance Armstrong wannabe or the extra from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome on the chopper, they seem to think they own the road. And that's the trouble, they really do. Because they know you wouldn't dare get near them for fear of launching them off their bike like a botched Evel Knievel stunt. So the bicycler will ride on the road even when there's 6 feet of shoulder and Easy Rider will tail the corner of your bumper until it opens up enough that they can pass you on either side of the road or in extreme cases, the sidewalk.

There are several other minor things that can make my blood boil. Taking too long to make a turn. People who haven't learned how to merge onto the highway. Calculating your chances of beating a train because you're late for work. School buses.

It shouldn't be this bad; it takes effort to be a bad driver. Use your turn signal. Don't tailgate. Know the right of way. And let me know if you ever see a lady aware of her surroundings when she backs out of her spot at the Silver Spring Turkey Hill. That's on my Bucket List.

Weekend Update

2008-07-27T23:22:00.002-04:00

-I was "recruited" by College Boy to play in a "home run derby" for breast cancer awareness at Clipper Magazine Stadium, the home of the Barnstormers. And boy was I bad. I scored the lowest on our team and I only noticed one guy who ranked lower than me. I probably should engage in a little more physical activity because I was gassed after about 7 swings. I wrenched by back pretty good by swinging as hard as I could. I also tore up my left hand from gripping the bar so hard. It was tough waiting for the pitching machine because I had trouble judging when the ball would come out. So I would see the guy drop the ball and half cock my swing before the ball came to me and had half swing behind the hit. I did get a few nice shots into left field but my prospects of ever being a professional baseball player were answered with a resounding no. Unless the pitcher would manage to hit me, walk me, or hang a knuckleball every at bat.

-Later Saturday night we went back and watched the Barnstormers play the Newark Bears. If the quality of baseball is a little suspect, they make up for it with a nice stadium. They were running a promotion where if former MLBer Ruben Mateo would strike out a bunch of people would win a frosty. I guess they knew what they were doing when they selected him. The first time he was up the fans started chanting FROS-TY and he responded by hitting a towering home run to left field. He added a double and another home run later in the game to send everyone home with no ice cream. I also continued my streak of never having a foul ball landing anywere close to me section. I'd let you know if the Barnstormers won or not, but we left in the 8th inning.

-I got to watch WALL-E Saturday as well. It's been a long time since i've seen a movie that good. I thought it might be a children's movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. It follows WALL-E in the distant future as he is left to clean up trash in an abandoned Earth. The humans have left Earth to live on a giant spaceship where comfort has become key. They are no longer dependent on themselves and rely on robots to every daily task for them, kind of becoming mindless drones. He meets, and falls in love with another robot named EVE, who is sent to Earth to find any signs of sustainable life. One thing leads to another and WALL-E follows EVE back to the spaceship and in the process teaches humans how to be human again. Kind of a robot Love Story.

And if that wasn't good enough, The Wizard of Oz is on TNT. Good times.

Beer and Other Hazards of Going Out to the Bar

2008-07-13T21:49:00.001-04:00

I once heard a phrase that has stuck with me through the years. "Nothing good happens when you go out." I'm not sure where I picked it up; it may have been from the old wrestler Stan Hansen, it very well could have come from my mother. I have spent way too many of my formative years inside of a bar, so I might classify myself as some sort of expert on wasting one's life. In the last 7+ years I have realized certain things.

Like the quote says, nothing good happens when you go to the bar. All you are going to do is spend money that would be better spent elsewhere. It may seem like a blast at the time, but never are you going to wake up the next morning, feeling like there is a pick axe in your skull, thinking that was really worth spending $50. When I first turned 21, I would cash my paycheck on Friday afternoon and then shortly thereafter adjorn to Emerson's Pub with College Boy. I knew how exactly much money I could spend and still pay my bills. Despite being armed with this knowledge, before I knew it (around 1:22AM) I would be pulling out that next twenty that was part of the car payment to buy the next round of Rolling Rocks. I would put bills off for the next week(s) just to have another bottle of irresponsibility. Surely everyone has made that pledge, "I'll just have 2 or 3 and call it a night." But once the music hits, a fight breaks out, or someone quizzes you on the greatest quarterback of all time (it's Tom Brady and for the love of Christ I will not argue this), it all goes out the window. The booze hits and you realize that it's either hang out or go home and look at internet porn.

Going out to the bar with the people you work with is one of the bigger mistakes you can make. The problems you will run into are limitless. Someone is going to get drunk and rip into a coworker even though it's a lock that it will get back to them the very next work day. Two slammed coworkers, who under any other circumstances would never look at each other, are going to hook up. Someone is going to leave early and not pay their share of the tab. No one seems to realize that they all have to work within the same four walls. The following Monday those people are going to be embarrassed, pissed off, or worse, pregnant. Whatever the case, alot of people are going to be walking around with their heads down.

The very idea of picking up a girl at a bar is just plain nonsense. Maybe I am jaded because I hang out in bars in Lancaster County, but the pickings are slim. If you talk to a girl at the bar she most likely will fall into 3 categories: She wants either a cigarette or a drink; she's already drunk out of her mind; or she has a boyfriend and is oblivious to the notion that she might be leading a guy on. I've seen it happen a million times. Buying a drink for a girl is about one of the dumbest things you can ever do as a guy. It's never been proven to work. She'll take it, and alot more if you are willing but don't expect a phone number in return. You can read more about this type of behavior on page 947 of the book All Women, Until Proven Otherwise, Should be Considered Crazy at All Times. Granted, all men know these things, but once again as soon as the music hits and you get a few in you, all men become a little crazy as well. If you're lucky you will just run into a guy who is there to have a good time and not cause a ruckus. But odds are you won't run into many of them. The rest fall into 3 categories as well: The guy who drinks entirely too much and becomes a threat to fall into you, spill a drink on you or throw up on you; The guy who becomes Hulk Hogan after 12 beers and is a threat to punch your lights out based just on your favorite sports team ; or the guy who hits on your girlfriend when you are in the bathroom. Leaving your girlfriend alone in a bar is one of the dumbest things you can do as a guy. Basically if a guy walks into a bar with a hot girlfriend and is wearing a Tom Brady jersey he has become the biggest target in the room.

With these factors in mind, not to mention the various effects of receiving a DUI, it's a wonder anyone goes out to the bar. Sitting at home on a Saturday night watching 48 Hours Mystery might seem a little boring, but there's virtually no chance that someone is going to stop by your house, kiss your girlfriend, punch you in the face, and steal 40$ from your wallet all because you are a Patriots fan. On second thought, if you have any more questions i'll be at the Trio--I'm pretty sure College Boy knows where I live.

The roads less traveled, for a reason.

2008-06-23T00:42:00.003-04:00

If you have ever lived or traveled through the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania you surely have thought to yourself, "Jesus the roads in this state sure do suck." With the amount of pot holes, misplaced manhole covers, construction and road kill, it's a wonder anyone gets to work in one peice.

You cannot drive to your nearest Turkey Hill without swerving around a dead animal of some sort. I lost count how many consecutive days I drove to work and saw a dead skunk lying on the side of the road. Last week I was on Druid Hill Lane/Road/Boulevard and saw a groundhog crawling along the road. I sort of chuckled to myself that there was a 1oo% chance of it being ran over. Next day, there it was, on it's back all four paws pointing up. Groundhogs, cats, rats, you name it. One day I saw a freaking 10 foot snake slithering across Marietta Avenue. Needless to say it got run over by about 4 cars; it's a pretty sick site watching a snake coiling and recoiling in agony. No one should have to see that. Sure, I live in a more country kind of setting, but the other day I was leaving work on Centerville Road-which is situated in a very industrialized area- and saw a dead raccoon. It's guts were hanging out and I swear there were 2 actual vultures picking at it's intestines. I nearly yakked right on the spot. The only thing I haven't seen lying on the road is a dead horse. But with the amount of Amish people living around here, it's only a matter of time.

If you drive in Pennsylvania, construction is simply a part of your life. Route 30, it seems, has been under construction since I moved here in April of 1989. Sure the stretch around Park City and Manheim Pike turned out nice, but once you move west, towards the sticks, the condition of the road deteriorates. The seams in the concrete rack your brain for a good 4 exits. The part of 30 heading towards York is giving me more headaches that I can handle. Forget for a moment that it's taking entirely too long, and that I just drove through it last month and saw no change or progress or workers, the real problem is the effect it is having on the rest of the roads in the area. Most drivers are avoiding 30 and taking regular roads to get to work. I never once had to wait more than 3 minutes to get out of my parents neighborhood. Now I can almost get through American Pie before I can pull out. Never did I have to wait through 3 green lights to get through the Stoney Battery intersection. I lived 4 miles from work and leaving 25 minutes early meant I was assured to be clocking in at 8:07.

Equally disconserting are the conditions of the actual roads. Which is pretty amazing considering the constant construction that is always going on. Pot holes are everywhere. Feeble attempts to fill the holes or patch the cracks might make for a quick fix, but long term it offers no solution. What drives me more nuts is the curious location of the manhole covers that dot every 1/100 of a mile anywhere you turn. Common sense might dictate that they are placed in the center of the lane, where they can provide access for whatever the hell they provide access to (has anyone ever seen a man go in to a man hole?), while not making the road a hazard to your shocks, suspension, wheel axles, tires or the shirt your were wearing that you just spilled coffee all over because you just had your car rocked. For some reason, the holes are located closer to the middle of the road, where if you are sober and are between the yellow, lines up perfectly with your 2 left tires. I like going to the Fairview Tavern, which is atop the hill on Prospect Road. If you have every driven that road, you would know that there are about 10 manholes along the way. I can't imagine why they would need intermitten access to the underground every 20 feet, but incase they do, the manholes are there! If you travel up the hill, you'll find that the road is very windey and is also very tight-mail boxes and drive ways give you very little room to manuever. So while you are driving, it's next to impossible to navigate around the 20 or so fox holes without risking a collision with a passing motorist in the opposite lane or one of the 30 mailboxes. So if I want to get to the Fairview, I better be prepared for approx. 40 thunks and a visit to Meineke in the not so distant future. Those familiar with the area might say I should take High Ridge Road up the hill, but that might be worst road in the Country, let alone in the state.

2007 World Series Champions, Boston Red Sox!

2007-10-29T01:05:00.000-04:00

Haha.

The Red Sox won the World Series again tonight, for the 2nd time in 3 years. After they won in 2004, it was, and still is, absolutely bizarre that Red Sox and World Series Champs went together. And now, they won it again! We get another year where you can say, Defending World Champion Boston Red Sox. It's very hard to wrap my mind around that. It was another sweep! For the most part, no apprehension, no heart pounding nervousness. This time was a little better because you didn't have to hear about the Curse or 1918. Just winning a championship. David Ortiz, Manny, Curt and Wakefield were there, but new additions like Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lowell ( WS MVP), and Josh Beckett make this a different team from 2004 and i think i might enjoy this one a little more. Maybe because it happened today.

Fries and i returned to the scene of the crime and watched the game at the SpringHouse (now known as the Trio). Totally different from the last time we were there. In 2004, there was about 15 Red Sox fans and the bar was packed. They cancelled kareoke so we could crowd infront of the big screen. Tonight, there was about 15 people total, including the workers. Fries, Paige, Kelley, Mark Hess and I watched the game and celebrated afterwards. Fries amped up Dirty Water and Tessy. Thankfully, they let us stay past close to watch the game and the celebration.

I think i mentioned this here in 2004, but i cant help but look back when i used to listed to the Red Sox radio broadcasts when i was 15, 16 years old. I guess i'm proud to say i was Red Sox fan way back. From when we moved to Haverhill, MA and here to PA. I loved sitting in Dad's M&L Electric van in the summer of 1996 listening to the west coast road trips with a bowl of pretzels and a giant glass of iced tea at 12 in the morning. I'm pretty sure younger me would have loved to know that the Sox would win in '04 and unbelievably enough again in '07. I would like to go back and tell him that, and i'm sure that it would have suprised him and made him happy, even if he had to wait this long.

In other great Boston sports news, the Patriots embarassed the Redskins earlier today. It's really getting rediculous that they are giving ass kickings of the highest order week after week. They totally killed the Skins. Absoutely killed them. At one point, they were winnging 52-0! When does that ever happen in the NFL these days? Parity has pretty much taken over in sports. It doesnt mean that any team can win a championship or make the playoffs, but in the regular season, you can think that any team could theoretically win. Not this year. The Pats, with that chip on their shoulder are blowing the doors off every team. They average over 40 points, they average 15 points against. Tom Brady has thrown 30 TDs and 2 INTs. Can that even happen in Madden on rookie level? Next week could be the biggest regular season game ever with the 8-0 SuperPatriots vs. the Colts in the Revenge Game. That's one that Fries and I are probably going to have to watch in his basement, because i am going to be in no shape to watch that game in public. Then, as a reminder, the Jets loom in week 15. The Jets are 1-7 right now and have no passing game. They can't really run the ball and their defense is in shambles with Vilma out for the year. Mangini pissed Belichick off pretty fierce after blowing the whistle on SpyGate and the rest of the league is dealing with the aftermath right now. They may lose the Colts next week, but that Jets game could be the ugliest game in NFL history. If you think they have run up the score before, i dont think you've seen anything yet. I would look you right in the face and say 70 points and a 60+ point victory is not out of the question. I don't care what the line is, that is the gambling lock of the century.

Current Mood: Championship!
Current TV: ESPNEWS

And to all a good night!

1 to go...

2007-10-28T01:21:00.000-04:00

Once again, the Red Sox are 1 win away from the World Series Championship. Granted, they have to win it, but it's so different from the first time in 2004.

Game 3 was a wild ride for a bit, but the Rockies can't handle that lineup for that long. The good guys rolled out to a 6 run lead before letting them back 6-5. They ended up smashing the Colorado pen for another 5 runs and won 10-5. Dice-K finally came through tonight, pitching a great game and even knocking in two runs. Ellsbury and DP came up huge and naturally Papelbon ended the night. Tomorrow night is going to be a doozy.

Current Mood: Could not be happier. And i really mean it.
Current TV: espnews

Glory Days in Boston

2007-10-22T17:41:00.000-04:00

What a great time it is to be a Boston sports fan.

Last night was a banner night as the Red Sox finished off their 3 game demolition of the Cleveland Indians and the Patriots and Tom Brady, if it's possible, got even better.

The Red Sox came back from a 3-1 deficit outscoring Cleveland 30-5 since game four. After they crushed the Indians on Saturday, i predicted they would win by 5 easily. Fries wasn't so sure, and neither was I for the first six innings. But after some bone headed playing from Cleveland, they blew them away in the seventh and eighth. Matsuzaka at least earned some of the 100 million that he got this year. Only 5 innings, but he got out of a few jams and did alright overall. Okajima gave 2 good innings innings in relief before giving way to Paplebon in the 8th. Paps shut them down for 6 outs and if you watched him after the game, you can tell that he's guilty on counts in regard to being completely insane. His reaction when Crisp caught the final out was absolutely goofy and his appearance in the locker room with his tight little shorts and scuba goggles was off the page. So it's on to the World Series against the Colorado Rockies. ? Definatley not my dad's NL champs, but they'll do. Everyone seems to want to go with the upstart good guy story Rockies (even though its not translating to even respectable tv ratings), but i'm just going to say when the Red Sox win it, I hope its at Fenway.

Earlier the Patriots embarassed the Dullphins. Tom Brady threw 6 TDs and now has 27 TDs and 2 INTS on the year. That stat is gaudy. Just an absolute vein display of greatness. He's on pace for 61 TDs. Thats damn near Gretzkyesque. They led 42-9(!) at the half. Randy Moss caught two passes for touchdowns that should probably (for the sake of time, and space concerns) just be called uncatchable. The running up of the score continues and i hope they continue to show no mercy. Their offense is so totally so far beyond what any defense can comprehend at this point, i can't imagine their own defense playing anywhere near bad enough that their offense won't outscore the opposition for the win. Washington's next and then it's on to Indy for the Revenge Game.

Current Mood: tired
Current TV: Sportscenter

2 Game Sevens

2007-10-21T01:29:00.000-04:00

The Boston RedSox won game 6 tonight to extend the 2007 ALCS to seven games. After the newest playoff hero Josh Beckett pitched his newest gem in game five, the Red Sox rolled back home and kicked the hell out of the Injuns 1o-3. With that young Cleveland team, who has had their best 2 pitchers come out and get lit up, i don't think they stand a chance tomorrow. I made 3 seperate bets that the Sox win by 5 runs. Now 1 of them wont be in town tomorrow, and the other was too drunk to remember, but i can't see them losing tomorrow. It's not like Jake Westbrook is going to set the RedSox down or anything, right? JD Drew hit a grand slam in the first inning....if that's not a sign that they are winning the World Series, i don't know what is. Just to be sure, i'm wearing the sleeveless adidas and the 1995 Red Sox tattered to hell shirt that i wore for the World Series winner. I just want to enjoy the Red Sox winning without the Curse, or the ALCS comeback hanging over everything.

The Patriots get the 0-6 Dolphins tomorrow. For the third time this year, the Pats are 16 point favorites and for the 7th week in a row they will cover. I cannot stress enough how much they are going to stick it to every team this year for all the shit they got for the shitty tape scandal. The Steelers are going to regret that they suggested that the SuperBowls were tainted and the Jets and Mangini are going to get the ass kicking of all ass kickings in the history of the NFL in week 15. This week, next week, then they get the Colts. I've been yelling 16-0, but it's a hard thing to do. The only game i really worry about is the Colts game, but if they get by that, there's no reason why dont have a great chance to do it.

All in all, i think it's going to be a great day for Boston tomorrow. The Bruins might even win.

Current Mood: Great, can't wait for Game 7!
Current Music: Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Meatloaf
Current TV: ESPNews

Everything is bigger in Texas

2007-10-14T22:05:00.000-04:00

Ho ho ho....

It might have been dicey for about 40 mins, but our favorites finished off the Cowgirls in decided fashion. 48-27. 5-0 Dallas falls by 3 TDs. I saw it coming, even though Fries didnt. Thomas Brady threw 5 touchdowns and overall it was a rout. If this is the best the NFC can offer, the Super Bowl will be over when the AFC title game is over. Every week it gets better, every week they are dominate. This Pats team is all-world. This Pats team is all-millenia. This Pats team is all-time. Next week for the 6-0 Pats? The 0-6 Dullphins. Ho ho hoooo.

Current TV: Saints-Seahawks.....Jesus, sorry NBC.
Current Mood: Tickled pink.,

Dreams

2007-10-13T02:56:00.000-04:00

Hey--The RedSox won Game One of the ALCS tonight. Smashed the shit out of the Indians. Christ, i really hate the Indians. They beat Boston in 95 and 98. I always hated Cleveland way more than the Yanks. Fries and I really feel the Sox this playoff year. At least they don't have to play the Yanks. No comeback, no nervousness. It's really weird seeing them in the ALCS. If you would have told me that the Sox had a chance to win 2 World Series in 3 years 10 years ago, i would have shit myself. It's pretty wild.

The 5-0 Pats play the 5-0 Cowboys Sunday. Dallas is home and they are getting 6.5 points. I'm thinking 34-17 Pats.

Current Mood: Drunk and sleepy
Current TV: TBS highlights

Title Town?

2007-10-07T22:02:00.000-04:00

Heh heh. Its looking good for New England sports.

Last week the Patriots nailed Cincy 34-13 in Cincy. Usually when you are 7 point road favorites, you slip a bit. Not the Brady Bunch. Randy Moss caught 2 TDs, one of which they should show to every rookie wide receiver who ever comes in to the league. 4-0.

Today. Pats 34 Brownies 17. Well, they finally didn't beat a team by 3 touchdowns. Still, Brady and Watson gave me mad fantasy points and the Pats racked up the record to 5-0. With under a minute to go, Randal Gay (ha) stripped Winslow and picked up the ball and ran it back for a TD. It gave Fries an extra 8 pts in his fantasy league, but more importantly, it showed that the Patriots are sending double middle fingers to the rest of the league. Any other team with nothing to prove would have fell to the ground. The Patriots are gunning for everyone. Dallas (5-0, if they beat the Bills tomorrow) are next, and they don't know what is going to hit them. There is a reason why i started the blog again. The Pats are unbeatable.

Yeah, and the Red Sox eliminated the Angels today. Nice sweep. Beckett took gm 1 pretty east, 4-0. Game 2 was a little more dicey, until ManRam crushed a HR clear over the monster for the winner. Today was pretty pedestrian. 9-1 win that Fries and i somewhat watched. Seemed like a foregone conclusion. In any case, this is wild because i cant remember a time where it seemed like the RedSox had an easy road to the World Series. Stay tuned, this blog could end up meaning a whole lot in baseball and football before its all said and done. I wish i was more drunk so i could scream and bitch alot more.

Current TV: NYY vs. CLE
Current Mood: YOU WILL NOT STOP BRADY!

RedSox East Winners!

2007-09-29T02:04:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well!

The RedSox won the American League East for the first time since 1995. I do remember that day. It was my dad's 44th birthday. I was scanning channels and switched to ESPN and saw Roger Clemens (asshole) and Mo Vaughn (fat asshole) riding around on horses and wearing goggles. It took 12 years, but they finally took the East Flag. It's funny, the 2004 World Series and now the East remind me of being a kid. Just another reminder of being 15, before i could drive, being in 10th grade, no responsibilty. I always love being taken back to childhood.

The Patriots are smashing teams. I really think that teams are pissed that prick asshole Eric Mangini blew the whistle on the Pats. No one needed this team to have a chip on their shoulders. I hate to say it, in hopes that i dont jinx anything, but the 2007 Pats really do seem like they can go 16-0. They are just too good. Number 1 offense and defense. 7 point favorites on the road in Cincy. From here on out, because i feel something special going on, i'm going to blog about the Patriots. After every week (win) i'm gonna write about Pat's Patriots.

NHL starts up tomorrow. Jeeeeez. They open their season, on a Saturday, in London England. Puck drops at noon. In the middle of one of the greatest MLB finishes ever and a good College football weekend. What are they thinking? The Finals last year were outwatched by Build a Beter Burger and Mama's Family on the ION Network. ION. Does anyone even get that channel? They show the Wonder Years which is an all time great show, but ION? They got the lowest ratings in the history of NBC last year. I loved hockey and the Devils at one point (98-04) way beyond what i ever like the Red Sox, Pats, or Celtics. Now, since the lock out and the recent appearances of Edmonton, Carolina, Tampa, Anaheim and Ottowa in the Finals, i cannot get into hockey anymore. I can't handle watching a Devils team that isnt the favorite to win the East, let alone the Cup. Maybe i was just spoiled with the Devils success, but i cant live with an average NJ squad.

Well thats the blog. I really want to get back into this, especially because i want to document my feelings as the Patriots go on this year. This is all for my memories and if anyone else reads, i hope you enjoy.

Current TV: RedSox highlights
Current Mood: Tired, dying to sleep.

Patriot Pride

2007-09-17T00:47:00.000-04:00

If you are not a sports fan, you should probably ignore this post.

My, my, my, it has been a long time. What's on my mind? Patriot Pride.

If you haven't noticed, the Patriots got busted for filming the Jets defensive coordinators. Apparently they have done this several times before. They got fined a bunch of money and lost a draft pick or two depending on how they fare this year. Everyone has come out and blasted them for it. Idiot writers and TV personalities and former players. Players from teams that the Patriots rolled over in past playoffs.

This appears, to these players and tv guys, to tarnish what my favorite team has done over the past 5 years. When they shocked the world, punished St. Louis receivers to the point where their speed was neutralized, when they outlasted the Panthers offensive effort in the 3rd and 4th quarter, and beat the TD record Colts, 15-1 Steelers and Eagles, it appears that it was because they were stealing defensive signals. Nevermind that Ty Law returned an interception for TD in the Rams Super Bowl, or that Mike Vrabel caught a TD against Carolina, or that they shut Peyton Manning out the year that he shattered offensive records, or that they forced 15-1 Roethlisberger to throw 3 picks, one for a TD, no it was stealing D signals.

This all went down this week.

When they faced the San Diego Chargers, who everyone who didnt pick New England picked to make the Super Bowl, it matters. Combine that with Ladanian Tomlison, your reigning NFL MVP, claiming that he would rip the Patriots head off because they beat him and the Chargers in their own stadium in the previous year's playoffs.

Today was about being a sports fan. You invest an interest in a team. Even though you are sitting infront a TV 500 miles away, you feel like you are one with those guys on the sidelines. You don't have to have the athletic talent, you dont have to make the millions, you still feel like you are a part of that team, that locker room. Normal people might say that its only sports, or that it doesn't affect you personally, you have no stake in what they do. Today, for me, it did. I love sports, and i love the Patriots. Love Brady, Belicheck, and Rosevelt Colvin. Tonight, with every team and everyone in the media on their ass, they smashed the Chargers. They made a point in the face of everyone who called them cheaters. They perfectly executed every aspect of the game. They stuffed the best offensive player in the league, which led to one of the greatest humbling press conferences in history. You nearly feel priviledged to follow and enjoy a team that can face every peice of criticism and come out and dominate with simplicity. You feel great that you can go to work/bar/turkey hill and say i told you so.

When someone asks, why do you like sports or why you follow a team, tonight is the answer. You put so much into a team, that you feel a part of it, and they beat adversity and make a statement to everyone in the sports world. Go Pats.

I have a mansion, forget the price.....ain't never been there, they tell me it's nice...

2006-01-16T22:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, so i stole this from someone.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Richard Raymond Householder
Birthday: Sept. 06, 1980
Birthplace: New Castle, PA. The town's gone down hill since i left.
Current Location: Lancaster, PA
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5'10"
Right Handed or Left Handed: righy
Your Heritage: 3 parts irish, 1 part germish
The Shoes You Wore Today: white adidas shell tops
Your Weakness: can never say no
Your Fears: not being successfull
Your Perfect Pizza: pineapple and black olives
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: finish school
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: guy or goolies
Your Best Physical Feature: feet?
Your Bedtime: 1am or so
Your Most Missed Memory: Summer of 2002 or October 2004
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi sucks
MacDonalds or Burger King: neither one is really that good
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton, but with no lemon
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: turkey hill coffee
Do you Smoke: yeah
Do you Swear: heck yeah
Do you Sing: not around anyone else
Do you Shower Daily: i'm clean
Have you Been in Love: yeah
Do you want to go to College: i can't wait to finish
Do you want to get Married: maybe
Do you belive in yourself: yeah, but i gotta fix some problems
Do you get Motion Sickness: i dont like roller coasters
Are you a Health Freak: absolutely not
Do you get along with your Parents: i plead the fif!
Do you like Thunderstorms: as long as im inside.
Do you play an Instrument: no talent
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: oh ho ho yes
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: im not sure
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: got a new cell phone at park city
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: ew no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: ew ew no
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: hmmm, no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: oh ho ho yes
Ever been called a Tease: hah
Ever been Beaten up: never
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: quick, but know that its coming
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: something that pays the bills
What country would you most like to Visit: O' Canada, my home and native land.....
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: red
Short or Long Hair: inwbetween
Height: 5'5" or so
Weight: average
Best Clothing Style: casual
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1
Number of CDs I own: maybe 5
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of Tattoos:0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: not finishing college in a reasonable length of time. Buying a Neon for 7,000 dollars.

School starts tomorrow. Start at 930, then work 12-9. Damn. What better way waste 700$? Devils won again Sunday, that's 6 in a row.

Current TV: hockey
Current Music: Beast of Burden-Rolling Stones
Next week: money!

Nothing lasts forever, even Tom Brady's rein

2006-01-15T01:45:00.000-05:00

Well, the Patriots run ended. Bullshit. Two horrible calls cost the Patriots something special. A pass interference that should have went against Denver and another Brady INT that should have ended up a touchback in the Pats favor that didnt sewed it up. It wasnt at much that they lost, it was that two ref's calls made the difference. A dynasty in the making was robbed by two calls made by the friggin "never was good enough to make it as a pro, might as well be the difference in the playoff game" officials. In any case im pissed.

Raw is War

2006-01-12T11:53:00.000-05:00

Monday night we all went and saw Monday Night Raw. It was great. Shawn Michales gave Sweet Chin Music twice, Kurt Angle, Vince McMahon and Ric Flair, who left his usual bloody self. Also saw Val Venis, who's list of adult films like Harry Twatter had the entire arena dying. It was cool to see how the production went and it was light years better than the last time i saw a live wrestling show. Lita's boob even made an appearance on the TitanTron.

Elias comes back, Devils win 4 in a row, including a shut out of the Flyers, coincidence? Devils = Cup.

Millersville starts again next week, so i can finally take Senior Seminar and graduate. Goolies.

Current TV: Unsolved Mysteries
Current Mood: whatever

talk a walk on the wild side

2005-12-31T15:14:00.000-05:00

Well it's the last day of 2005. What went wrong, what went right?

I went back to That Fish Place and quit TGI Fridays. I'll take the set schedule, which is mostly day time hours, and the set pay compared to shitty hours and meager pay. I do not miss cutting lemons, rolling silverware, working till midnight on a weekend, crying kids, dirty tables, broken crayons, sweeping, cleaning bathrooms, sorting silverware or any other bussing horrors. I couldn't even switch to serving in order to pander to others for 15%, and i resent the ones who strive to become one and enjoy it. Plus there's no Jeff Hickman or Wayne Flory at Fridays. I will miss a select few and Brian "Bro, that bitch looks like she ran a 50 yard dash in a 30 yard gym" Scott.

Way back the Patriots won their 3rd Super Bowl over the sad sack Eagles. That might have been one of the more satisfying times my team won it all. They embarassed the Colts in the Division round, kicked the shit out of the Steelers in their own stadium and then cut the heart of everyone within 150 miles by downing the Eagles. Probably not three teams that i would enjoy beating more. Started bad, but Captain Tom looks decent to win a 4th. Hockey came back, but the Devils are just a bad bad hockey team. Robinson quit, Malakov retired, McGillis sucks, and Elias still hasn't come back from hepititis. Better luck next year.

Also got to see the Rolling Stones this October. They weren't as good as they used to be, but being with 3o,ooo+ at Hershey Stadium was a pretty cool sight. What modern pop music band could pull that shit off? Nickelback?! They didn't play Beast of Burden, but it was worth it.

I've become way more than a regular at The Olde Spring House. Well, maybe not as much as Fries, but i spend way to much money there. But i have way too much fun, so its worth it. We actually have pictures of ourselves hanging up above the bar for crissakes.

Other than being poor and having a f'ed up knee for a good bit, 2005 might stand as a success. I saw more than 2 girls skinny dipping, so that alone pretty much made up for the year, losing my lisence withstanding.

Looking like Springhouse with Fries and the Gang for New Years Eve. I'd think being at party at someone's house would be a little more wild and leave more room for at least insane drunk bastard behavior. But, the Springhouse being the Springhouse, having never let me down before, im sure i'll have something to write about tomorrow.

Current Mood: bring on the booze
Current Music: Deperado-Eagles
Current Tv: Law and Order CI

Egg plant, mu shu hott tank

2005-10-09T02:06:00.000-04:00

Sort of a few good weeks.

Went to see The Rolling Stones last weekend. 31,000 people showed up and rocked on. They didnt play my favorite Beast of Burden, but they rocked pretty hardcore throughout. Even if they played like shit, i could still say STONES LIVE! Thats not to say they even close to playing like shit..to my potential grandchildren that i saw The ROLLING Stonesw .called, they were pretty awesome and their display was kick ass.....best show ever.

The Red Sox ended up losing to the Chi White Sox. That team went even longer that the Sox went before they won last year. I still seem to be the pessimistic road flaires. Boo White, Red forever.

Regardless, Good Night

ill never be your beast of burden, so lets go home..& draw the curtains, music on the radio...come on baby make sweet love to me

2005-09-18T02:26:00.000-04:00

Nice few days. Friday went to Pittsburgh with some lovely ladies from that fish place. We picked up some dude that worked at the fish place and checked out the Pittsburgh Zoo. Ive never seen elephants, zebras, llamas, tigers, gazelles, giraffes or bears in person before, but i really had alot of fun.

Also, i got my driving priviledges back as of 7am saturday morning. I took off for work, and damn i miss driving. It was kinda wet out, so i couldnt fly thru the streets like i would have enjoyed.

The Red Sox are clinging to a 1.5 game lead over the NYY, but they should make the playoffs. The Patriots look better than ever, and the NHL starts in like 3 weeks, so im pretty happy with sports.

Current TV: Breakdown, starring Kurt Russell
Current Music: Beast of Burden, Stones
Current Mood: tomorrow is a day off biotch!

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles....

2005-09-04T23:43:00.000-04:00

So Saturday meant Cousin Erin's wedding back in New Castle. Its always nice to see my dad's relatives gathered together. Small ceremony, but the reception after was off the hook. Everyone got hammered. Drunkards everywhere. I took countless shots of whatever and countless bottles of Miller or Bud Light or whatever was behind the bar.

I had the worst of hangovers the next morning, but i got to see Uncle Bob Householder dance to the song Pussy Control by Prince, so i could have drank my liver into uselessness and it would still have been worth it. That and i got to see the oldest living member of the Householder family, my grandfather's sister, Maime whos 91. So it was a great time, and i regret that we never go back to the old town more than once a year or so.

I also had enough of Fridays, so i did the tried and true no call no show to end the 16 months of fun. I enjoyed most of the people there, but i was staring at a 70 hour work week ontop of the 50s and 60s i was normally doing. So that ,as they say, is that.

NHL starts in less than 4 weeks. I cannot wait. Red Sox are holding on the AL East, so they're looking sweet for the playoffs, and im looking forward to watching every pitch at the SpringHouse again.

I also turn the big 2-5 in 2 days. I really wish i had something, anything to show after Twenty Five years of living.

Current TV: Law & Order SVU
Current Mood: back to work in 8 hours.

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles....

2005-09-04T18:13:00.000-04:00

The goats will run rampant when the box is full.

2005-08-17T23:33:00.000-04:00

Another long span between posts. Probably cause i've been working everyday for the last month. 5 days at That Fish Place, and 2 days a week at TGI Fridays has consumed most of my time. Leaving little for drinking, sleeping, or blogging. I dont know how much longer i can pull off the 2 days a week bussing. Maybe for another week or so. No way i can do it when school starts at the end of the month. It was fun, but ive about had my fill of cleaning after total slobs. We'll see how that goes. But i do enjoy being back at that fish place. I like the work much more than being a lowly buss boy. I left for more than a year, but its been like i never left. All the same shenanigans and fun with most of the old crew. A bunch of us went to see Jeff Hickman play in a place called Nardi's down in Long Beach Island, NJ. It was a hell of a time and i got pretty slammed. I wont say what happened later, save that ive never done it before in my life, but have done it twice this summer already. Fun fun fun.

Its been a month already since ive lost my license. Its flying by, but i feel pretty much like a low-life not being able to drive, and fetching rides everyday. ITs like i'm a cook in a chain resturant or something. Id almost rather have gone to prison for 2 weeks instead of losing the damn thing. Ive been missing out on some good binge drinking in the interim.

The National Hockey League starts up again in a month and a half, and i cannot wait. My true love has been gone too long. The Devils lost Neidermayer but they got some guys and have become a more check you through the boards and knock your spleen out kind of defense. Then if the new rules stick and open up offense, they have alot of speedy forwards to move the puck and score goals. And Brodeur is still Brodeur. Prediction: Cup # 4.

Current TV: Law & Order Criminal Intent
Current Mood: headache.
Current Music: Wings-Band on the Run

Who says you cen never go home again?

2005-07-15T12:32:00.000-04:00

The Summer of 2005 just got all that more weird.

I am actually going back to work at That Fish Place. I'm still in disbelief. I haven't set foot on the property in over 17 months, but there i was talking to management and setting a schedule. It was surreal, being in the very building that i had worked in for 5 years.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and since i couldnt find any other job that would pay decent money, i made the call. I sort of enjoyed working there the first time around, but there was one heated day that i flew off and quit. Going back i wish i would have thought it over for a day or so before quitting, cause the DUI or the money problems that occurred afterwards would not have happened. Then low and behold, as i was leaving, there stood Jeff Hickman. The man the myth the legend, Mashed Potato Man himself. It took about 3.198 seconds before the first bizarre pseudo-sexual comment regarding rubbing down fat chicks with chicken fat in his bathtub to come from his mouth. It was like i never left. Bring it on baby.

I guess ill try to work at Fridays on my off days, but working 7 days week

Hot Z last night with the Fridays crew, and College. Sang a littany of songs, including horrible sounding versions of Piano Man, Runaround Sue, Next to be with You, The Pina Colda Song, but we always seem to bang out We Didn't Start the Fire pretty well, if only because College and i can sing the song without a hitch.

Beforehand, I watched the Curt Schilling return to the Red Sox, in the form of bullpen relief. He got a massive ovation when he came out in the 9th. I had an inkling that he might get railed. He gave a smash double up to Sheffield. Fries asked me if Schilling was toast for life and washed up, wearily, i shook my head yes, and Purple Lips herself hit a 2 run monster bash the next pitch. Either he really is fucked, or he's back to early. Last year was great, but its what have you done for me lately from here on out.

Current TV: Unsolved Mysteries
Current Mood: Hungry

and then i tell her, as i turn out the light, i say my darling, you were wonderful tonight.......

2005-07-05T12:33:00.000-04:00

It seems to be shaping up to be one hell of a summer. I finally made it back to the beach for the first time since the summer of 2000. I went down to Rehobeth or however you spell it in Delaware with a bunch of people from TGI Fridays last Thursday. I don't know why i never went back to the beach cause it was a blast. It was funny as hell seeing Brad scared to get into the water, and then seeing him getting destroyed when he finally decided to brave the furious waves. I didn't heed anyones advice to use sunscreen and now my face and neck peel like a banana, but getting to see hot chicks in bikinis made it well worth it.

Besides the beach, the Fridays crew has spent more quality time hanging out and getting saucy. We've been stopping by Hot Z's on Thursdays to sing kareoke. We usually close the place out and have 3-10 people share 2 mics, and im not sure we sound totally good, on-key or even coherent, but its a good time regardless. Bro' Brian Scott Jeffrey Guy Trompeter, Peaches and Beth Weaver even made it out one night. We also had a 4th of July gathering last night. No fireworks, but plenty of beer and beer bongs. There's about 2 months left, so there's plenty of time left to make this a summer to remember.

Current TV: Unsolved Mysteries
Current Mood: eh, work in 4 hours....

Uhhh you got any gum?

2005-06-16T00:24:00.000-04:00

So, in three days College Boy is tying the knot. The end of an era. And it will be one hell of a party. College, Dan, Eric, Brad, Matt, Gary, Boat, Mama, Papa, Tim Smalls, The Rock, Pishcke and even Aunt Beth will be in attendance. Its going to be the wedding to end all weddings. Free booze. Food. Hot dates. Free hotel rooms. One crazy bunch of loons and the rest of our lives to remember. Ana, Jessi, and Keri really do not know what they are in for. Im actually the best man, so i have to come up with some kind of sentimental wish-washy speech, apparently without any mention of College and my past exploits. In any case, we are gonna send Kyle off the night before the wedding with one last party at the Compound. We're gonna try to get some of the gang from 2001-2002 that used to get drunk and belligerent in the Compound basement to come and party. One last Constein Compound Bash. The fun it will be. And i will win a Canada-USA best of 7 from Brad one time for all time. Cant stop the Lemieux-Gretzky-Messier line baby.

Working alot of hours at Fridays, but the pay isnt that considerable. I need a new job.

The defending World Champs the Red Sox have gotten off their recent schnide and have won 4 in a row. Their offense is still good and the pitching is coming around.

Other than that i cant wait for the wedding....so later.

Current TV: nothing important
Current Mood: sleep would be good.

I'll never be your beast of burden, i walk for miles...my feet are hurtin....all i want, is for you to make love to me....

2005-06-12T03:34:00.000-04:00

Whew. Beer, work, beer, work and sleep.

Worked today for like 8 hours. Sucked, but i got to work with a certain girl that i happen to fancy, so it was fun. Shes hot, but i nearly daily pledge that i will never even look at a girl, but shes gonna be a good catch for me or any other lucky guy.

Afterwards, down to the SH. Watched the shmozz Tyson fight and got to hang out with Gary Donna and Fries. Speaking of the SH, there was a girl that i graduated with that was all about Fries. But her friend, whom i also graduated with, was there and i wanted to throw her some ill D, but kept my mouth shut. Wont name names, but she knows she's hot.

I might be taking another job soon so i can buy a car. Id hate to leave TGI Fridays, since i get to go skinny dipping with certain co workers.... :(

Current TV: Something
Current Mood: Beer + Sleep = Heaven
Current Music: Take it on the Run, REO Speedwagon

Heard it from a friend who, who heard it from a friend, who heard it from another you've been messing around.....

2005-06-01T01:52:00.000-04:00

Jeez-us. Being a history buff, finally seeing who Deep Throat really was, was quite a discovery. I happen to think very highly of Richard Milhouse Nixon. But earlier today, the identity of the mysterious Deep Throat was finally revealed to be No. 2 FBI man Mark Felt. I've never heard of the guy, but apparently, he was high on the list of suspects. I was hoping for a bigger name like Gerald Ford or John Mitchell. In any regard, its one of the biggest mysteries since the JFK Assassination. No one reading this would probably give a damn, but this is one of the most important revalations of this generation. Deep Throat finally revealed. Wow. Shit.

Went down to the SpringHouse with Fries to watch the Red Sox tonite. They started off chincy, but you can never keep a good lineup down for long. Sox won after busting out a few good innings of good ball. Wade Miller got the win even though he had to fight off 6 innings of shaky ball.

I went and saw Star Wars Ep 3 Revenge of the Sith Memorial Day Sunday. What a great movie. I was never really into Star Wars, but it was spectacular. I seem to have liked Obi Wan Kinobi even though i always hated him before i saw any of the movies. But, what a great display. The scene where Kinobi was fighting Anakin Skywalker on the lava planet, and Yoda was fighting Emperor Palpatine on the Senate floor was one of the best damn things ive ever seen. 2 light sabre duels for a lifetime. After watching, i had to see the 3 originals. I borrowed the 3 from College Boy on VHS and im half way thru The Empire Strikes Back, and im hooked. I used to think Star Trek was the best space adventure, but now im hooked on Lucas. I cant wait to see Return of the Jedi and see Vader finally get his comapence via his son Kuke Skywalker. Look at me, a Star Wars geek!

Current Mood: Holy Sh*t, Deep Throat revealed!
Current Obsession: Carrie Fischer in that bikini!

The quarterback's arm was....coming forward....

2005-05-25T17:59:00.000-04:00

Just going through the motions. Havent been able to play hockey, but its over since we lost our playoff game this past sunday. Maybe i'll play next year maybe not. Its no fun.

Work still sucks. So many people there don't give a damn and are lazy. Certain people dont care about others, some dont do any work at all. Seems like this comes up every time i post, eh? My knee still is sore, dont know whats up with that.

On the bright side, im going to see The Rolling Stones in Hershey on October 1. Sure it might be 20 years too late, but ill be able to say ive been to the Rolling Stones, 20 years from now. They've completely sold out Hershey Stadium, and every other damn place they've scheduled. Few months away, but i cant wait. Yes!

Today is College Boys birthday. So we will drink. Plus its been 4 years since Doug Duncan died, so we will have to toast him in rememberance.

Current Mood: this place sucks.
Current Song: Brown Sugar

But i swear by this song, and by all that ive done wrong...i cant make it all up to thee!

2005-05-19T02:59:00.000-04:00

Well, i cant play hockey thanks to Todd. My knee is pretty wrecked. I haven't been to the doctor or anything since i have no insurance. I think its just a hyperextention, but maybe its more than that. Shit. I cannot extend it, or really bend it this way or that if i dont want to end up on the ground crying.

Went out boozing tonight with the usual suspects. Im blown out ill tell you. It was worth it though. I'll start with the fact that i love red heads. A certain ex-coworker showed up and i LOVE her . She was blown, i was blown, why not be blown together naked and sweaty? Id seriously kill two men with a blow torch to see her naked. Or a to have a cup of coffee. shit. id give a Cup up to bang her. Haha, kidding. But seriously i would. Shes hotter than Lava.

Red Sox lost today. Wells is a bitch. Hockey would be in the conference finals by now.

Current Tv: Conan
Current Mood: how did i not get DUI tonight?

Like a bird on the wire...like a drunk in a midnight choir...i have tried in my way to be free....

2005-05-17T02:28:00.000-04:00

I guess i'm back to regular posting here or something. Closed Fridays out tonight. Its getting back to the summer dolldrums. Its never really busy except for the weekends. Tonight was pretty slow. Let Ana out around 8 and save a few big tops, it was molasses.

The hockey team is getting near new lows. Since my knee was wrecked, i've missed 3 games. We also lost those 3 games and alot before that and we stand 2-10. The playoffs start next sunday, but i doubt i'll be able to play with this half assed knee. Oh well, see you next year.

I get to see Tianna again tomorrow, the first time since the day she was born. It should be fun. Uncle Richard!!!

The Red Sox lost today to Oakland. I still cannot get over that they are the defending World Series Champs. Its so great and bizarre to hear. They might not do much this year, but geez, what a year its been.

Current TV: Maverick
Current Mood: Blown Out
Current Music: Bird on a Wire, Aaron Neville.

7lbs, 8oz

2005-05-12T02:28:00.000-04:00

I dont think ive mentioned it here before, but my sister was pregnant for about 9months. Until today around 1pm. So now im an uncle. Tianna Rae Smith was ushered into this world shortly after 1 or so. Its pretty weird, seeing that ive been expecting it for around 4 months, but i guess nothing prepares you for when it happens. I got to see my neice and even hold her for a bit. Shes a cute kid. When i was holding her, her eyes just darted around noticing everything. But when she looked at me her eyes got wide as dinner plates, like i had snakes growing out of my head...haha. In any case, my parents are now grandparents and i'm Uncle Rich. Wow and Cool.

Afterwards, Fries Nancy and I went down to see the brand new Lancaster Barnstormers play their first game at Clipper Magazine Stadium. We didnt have tickets mind you, so we walked around the stadium and watched the ceremonies thru the outfield fence. Its pretty cool, you dont even need a ticket. You can just watch everything from the fence. After that we went down to GrienBriers and had a few drinks. Then back to Fries's truck and sat and drank booze for a few hours. While we were there we watched the city of Lancaster tow about 40 cars for illegal parking. Those guys had absolutely no remorse. They towed 3 cars at a time for almost 4 hours. Then we went to a sub shop and i had a nearly perfect Chicken Cheese stake. Back to Fries's truck for more beer and more tows. Then we walked up and noticed that the Clip opens the gates after the 7th inning stretch. So the three of us got to watch the 9th inning from some pretty sweet seats in left field. The seats were great, but let it be known that in the first game in Lancaster in about 40 years ended in a loss for the local boys, 4-3. It might be the start of a tradition, boozing in the parking lot and then going into the game after the 7th. Afterwards, we watched the hordes of people wonder where their collective cars went. After a while there were 2 older ladies that had to hang around and wait for a ride from the towers. They parked in the right spot, but the blind carjackers didnt realize. So the three of us waited for their safety until almost midnight. All in all it was a great time and i hope to do more of it in the future. Two new beginnings in one day is pretty cool.

Current Mood: tired, but uncle
Current Tv: off
Current Red Sox: If Foulke blows another save, im blowing his head off....until the the Sox stop bailing him out with walk off homers!

Ladies: I'll never be your Beast of Burden!

2005-05-11T01:00:00.000-04:00

Well school is over and im taking one more class next semester. Senior Seminar the second time around should be sweet.

I'm sure i will be happy with a few months off of school since i didnt get a break during the Christmas break last time around.

In my latest hockey related injury, Todd flew into my knee 2 wednesdays ago and ruined my entire leg. As soon as he hit me, i was like f*** Todd. The fact that we were playing one man short to start, i tried to play, but when i tried to turn and completely lost my legs and fell to the ground, i figured it was time to stop the charade. College Boy had to help me to the bench and that was it for hockey for awhile. Im sure it was just a hyperextension, but it hurts like a bitch, and caused me to miss a hockey game and two shifts of work. 10$ braces from CVS dont help by the way. Add that to the worst sprained wrist ever the the most heinous groin pull in the history of groin muscles and one hell of a bruised ass and ive got quite a list of hardcore hockey injuries.

Got a new cell phone today. Its always nice to usher in new bits of technology. I downloaded a Red Sox logo as my wallpaper and Beast of Burden by the Stones as my ring tone, so im pleased. I needed to replace that chipped, beat up samsung anway. My sister seems to enjoy it though.

If you're a reader of this blog, you'll recognize the trouble ive had with staying away from the ladies. But i garuntee, i will never ever in a million years never ever ever ever ever fall into the trap of falling for a girl ever ever ever again. I HATE the trouble and hate having to deal with never getting the girl. So from here on out as long as i live, its the Stanley Cup or nothing at all.

Current Mood: ah shit, work at 10.
Current Music: Beast of Burden
Current Wardrobe: Fridays Rocks! T Shirt, Nike mesh shorts
Current Drink: you put the lime with the Coke, you nut!

Oh what a horrible web we weave, when first we practice to conceive!

2005-05-02T11:01:00.000-04:00

Well its finals week, in which should have been my final finals week. But Senior Seminar didnt work out, so there will be another next semester. I've got alot of catching up to do, and i'd hate that to cut into my time spent drinking at the bar, arguing sports, making fun of idiots and my favorite past time, pissing cigarettes down the drain holes of the urinals.

We played hockey yesterday, and id say this team is right up there with the 1-19 Flames, or the early 90's Ottawa Senators in total badness. I'd say we are about 2-5 but i stopped counting. We are just horrible on defense, cant get any shots on net and generally dont play well as a team.

Other than that, im nearly done with community service...just 5 more hours to go. But i do enjoy going, it wouldnt be a bad fulltime job, if it wasnt janitorial work. I spent like 4 hours last time just mowing donegal high school with a riding mower, so that was fun. Just wish i had an iPod or something.

TGI Fridays. Its getting unbearable. All of the good workers have left over the last few months, and the replacements are not catching on as quick as i'd like. There are one or two that work really well, but the rest...whew. I keep having these dreams where i'm back at that fish place. Talk about nightmares.

Current TV: Sportscenter
Current Mood: One about to be down, 3 more to go.
Current Problem: money, cigarettes, car, money, job, money, finals, and money.

Ladies and Gentleman, the Edmonton Oilers have won the 1987 Stanley Cup!

2005-04-22T00:58:00.000-04:00

What a day or so. Fries, College, Brad and I went down to Baltimore last night to see the Red Sox and Orioles. The Red Sox won, but that was secondary to the other festivities.

We got to the game 3 hours early to drink and tailgate in the parking lot. Hundreds of Red Sox fans passed by and we hooted and hollared. Then Pete stopped by. In addition to being a Sox and Pats fan, he turned out to be one hell of a funny guy. Some deaf gladhander stopped by lookin for donations and Pete said he'd give him the dollar if he could say thank you. Well that was the first time of the night that i laughed so hard my lungs almost cleared my tonsils. We checked out a bar or two, took a 2 mile taxi drive for no reason, a two mile jog back, all for the hottest ladies you'll ever see though....

After the game, we tried to find our hotel. College should never drive ever again. One fender bender later, we are on the highway dodging tractor trailers and buses trying to find the right exit. We spent more time on the median and the shoulder than theoretically posssible. Then Fries yells out, theres the Hotel! Naturally, College whips down a road that i wouldnt take a Tank down. It was so desolate and College kept going anway.....then Fries blasts out the Deliverance banjo tune, and i lost my lungs.

We finally make it to our hotel. We're there for 10 seconds before College orders the 31.49$ porn special, on my card. Drunk texting female co workers later, Fries and i head to Dennys. I order the buffalo chicken sandwich, which was the first thing in order of destroying my colon. After sleeping, we wake up and head to Krispy Creme. We wrecked that hotel room. Im sorry for whoever had to clean that. It was foul, beer, stale smokes and beer farts tainted that room. Thinking we have an hour and a half trip, we head out. FOUR hours later we get home. College took the wrong road, and wouldnt make a stop or turn around. He drove on that road for like an hour. The wrong way. Instead of a straight shot from Baltimore to Lancaster, we take the Baltimore-Wilmington Delaware-Philadelphia-Turnpike Cattle Shoot. Harrowing experience aside, we had alot of fun. We stopped at Taco Bell. Soft Tacos + Alot of Beer + Buffalo Chicken + My solemn vow to never shit anywhere but my house made it a shaky trip back, but rest assured my tiolet got the Big Hurt when i finally made it home.

It was a hell of a time. I laughed more than i had in a long time. Got to see the Red Sox beat up on the O's, and damn if there isnt 1,ooo,000 hotttttt ladies in the Baltimore area. Terrific asses, shortest skirts, biggest tatties. I could live there, yeah. Cant wait till we do it again.

Current TV: Conan
Current Mood: sleeeeep!?
Current Lauren S.: bad girl....but i like it.
Current Music: You're so Vain, Carly Simon

Nuttier than squirrell shit

2005-04-06T18:33:00.000-04:00

Spring is here! Its unbelievable beautiful outside today. Shorts and T Shirts, blue skies! barfy burgers! girls!....ahem.

So i skipped out on classes and community service today so i could watch the Red Sox Yankees game with Fries and College at the SpringHouse. It was great. Beautiful sunny day, no worries, no work, just sitting around drinking Bud and watching the Sox get to Riveria again in the 9th. This should be a great year.

School sucks. Im not sure how its gonna end up.....probably me taking a summer class to improve my GPA. I really wanted to end my college career this May, but whatever. Another summer session shouldnt be too bad. I just want to get on with life.

Hockey last sunday was a success. College didnt show up, that bastard, but these 2 other guys did, and boy, are they super. I was atrocious on defense, thru 2 periods, and damned if i didnt take my self off D and onto O, they didnt score again. Soon as i joined offense, I assisted on 2 goals by Fries in about 90 seconds. We scored 6 unanswered to win 8-6. Yay!

Girls, girls, girls. Do they not know what they do to men?! Since the guilty party might be reading this, ill put it like this: flirting is cool and all, but dont lead on. You might catch some trouble with certain guys that are'nt cool like me. Just some words of wisdom, lol.

Current Mood: Go Red Sox
Current TV: Seinfeld
Current Outlook: Jesus H. Christ.

I'm madder than Janet Reno's blind date.

2005-03-21T00:33:00.000-05:00

My, my. Long time no post.

Whats happened since the last time i wrote here. The NHL cancelled their season, breaking my soul into so many thousands of peices. A year without the Stanley Cup is like a day without sunrise. Its not like it had to be the Devils or anything, just seeing someone raising the Cup would have been sweet. Well, it would have been about the Devils, but whatever. God really let me down on this one. Nothing else matters but the Stanley Cup, and it was robbed from me. Uncalled for. Our hockey league has started again, but we suck and stand at 0-2. I wont go into the reasons as to why we suck, but we suck and no one shows up.

But the Red Sox soon will begin their WORLD SERIES CHAMPION defense and Fries and I know they will repeat bringing the greatest of glory to New England and Red Sox Nation. Ive never been more excited to see a baseball season start, so bring on April 3(yeah kyle) and the Yanks.

Work sucks. No one cares about anyone but themselves and they leave me hanging high and dry at a moments notice. But who would blame them, and its no different from any other job anyway.

School's even worse. Taking the fullest of semesters, with work, community service and alcohol and highway safety classes doesnt mix all that well. Especially with adding hockey and drinking with Fries at the Springhouse. I just might have to throw another semester into MU, but im not banking on it. I couldnt stand being in college for a 100th semester.

As for women....i dont want to bother. For the most part i dont have the time or money to deal with them. Besides that, i dont have the patience for the whole "i dont know what i want....im confused, i dont want to ruin anything, i have a boyfriend" BS. That and the girls that i would be interested in are too hott for me anyway. Just give me a beer, a smoke, and a hockey game, and im cool...................shit. Friggin Bob Goodenow.

Beyond that, im happy with drinking at the SpringHouse with Fries, playing hockey at East Pete (when it doesnt rain out), and sleeping. Hopefully life will get better, but for now, it aint getting any better so im gonna take the ball and run with it. If cancer doesnt do me anyway, but that would be my luck, so fuck the tobacco industry.

Current TV: JFK
Current Mood: I'd rather be drinking
Current Financial Situation: Student loan refund + income tax refund = party at Richard's house.

Because 3 out of 4 aint baaaaaad!

2005-02-06T23:53:00.000-05:00

The Patriots win again! Three Super Bowls in four years! What would i have thought when i was in highschool?! Tom Brady is the best QB ever, Belicheck is the best coach ever, blah blah blah. It's official, the Patriots are a dynasty.

Got to watch the game as College's. I didn't think it was such a great idea....but the Patriots won and the Eagles fans paid the price. Oh well, that makes Devils in 2000 and 2003, Red Sox in 2004 and Patriots in 2002, 2004, and 2005 making it 6 championships in less than 5 years for this guy after going YEARS with nothing. Glory.

Current TV: Patriots celebration
Current Mood: Fucking right.
College sucks, work sucks, community service sucks.

STEELERS SUCK!

2005-01-22T09:44:00.000-05:00

The AFC Championship will roll around again tomorrow and once again its the Patriots vs. Steelers. I know i love watching the Red Sox beat the Yanks or the Devils destroy the Flyers, but theres really nothing i take pleasure in more than the Patriots killing the Steelers in the playoffs. They beat them in the 2001 AFC title game but in return for 1997 divisionals, i will never get tired of seeing Bill Cowher getting embarassed again. And theres something about the AFC Championship Game, better than the Super Bowl, means more or something.

The NHL has about flat lined. Such a shame. No Stanley Cup this year? Don't the players know what they are doing? See you in 2006...maybe.

Current TV: Married...with Children
Current Mood: Lets go Patriots
Waiting For: Blizzard of '05

Did you just let Screech in the fucking club!? I waiting here in line, and you just let Screech in the fucking club!

2005-01-12T01:04:00.000-05:00

Damn, i never update this thing.

I guess i'll start with 2004 Year in Review. It was a pretty shitty, changing year. I quit that fish place in the spring, sat out for a few months and started working at tgi fridays. Mulled thru college, doing well in some classes, not in others. Ebay, The Olde SpringHouse, DUI, losing the Neon, fines, cell phone bills.........alot of bad shit. Or fun shit. You never can tell. Deep down, im glad i left that fish place, and altought i hate Fridays alot, theres alot of cool people there. BUT, the obvious highlight of 2004 was the Red Sox winning the World Series. I read a bulletin board that had a bunch of people, as the Sox were on their way to the title, wishing the Red Sox to win it for various people. I thought about it, and i wanted them to win it for the 15 year old who sat out in the M&L Electric Van every night, even on the west coast road trips, rooting for them to make the Wild Card, night after night, even thought they didnt win it. I wanted them to win it for that kid who dedicated his summer to seeing the Sox win. Then how cool was it that they won? I went to the Spring House damn near every playoff game i could, to root for them with all the crazies. They won, and it was the most fun i've ever had in my entire life. Alot of bad shit happened in 2004, but nothing will ever top that month of October, every night, being a part of Red Sox Nation. I'll never forget it.

2005 hasnt been that bad. Work and college. I actually went and got a number of a girl that i had been staring at for the better part of 2 months over at the SpringHouse. I dont know if anything will come out of it, but for once i gathered some balls and went up to a girl. Thank God for beer eh.

No hockey. The NHL is on lockout. It doesnt look good. My one true love has left me. The players need to realize they are not going to win this one, and they are just going to end up playing with a salary cap anyway, and they will lose all their paychecks for a year or two for NOTHING. Just get it done.

Current TV: Conan
Current Music: Mr Big, To be with You.

I want to break free, i want to break free from your lies your so self satisfied, i dont need you, i've got to break free....

2004-12-02T17:10:00.000-05:00

Hmm. dui, neon's gone, fines, classes, pain in the ass. I knew once the Red Sox won the World Series ( i'll never get tired of saying that) i was in for some heavy retribution.

Work is hectic, nothing but running around and ruining my knees.

I think hockey is about done with the lock out, so hopefully NHL can grace out tv sets once again. I'm predicting the Devils over the Sharks in the Stanley Cup Finals. Its been gone too long.

"Jason Arnott in exactly the right place to handcuff Ed Belfour, and the Devils are the Champions!" June 10, 2000.

Geico.com is so easy to use, even a Caveman could do it!

2004-11-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

Final thoughts on your 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox:

It's been nearly 2 weeks since the Sox ended the Curse, and I hate that its over. That night i wouldnt sleep, wanting it to last forever. Nothing will ever be like that. Seeing them win it all, along with watching the whole playoffs. Every night, going to the SpringHouse with Fries and Brad, and the rest of the Sox fans. It lasted nearly all of October....it was great, all of us coming together, rooting for Boston, for the common good. I dont think anything will compare to this October.

The best moments: Fries and i opening the SpringHouse to see Game 2 against Anaheim; Ortiz winning the ALDS with a 3 run bomb; watching in disbelief as they blew games 1 and 2 vs. New York in the ALCS; Dave Roberts prolonging the season, stealing second on Rivera....in the bottom of the 9th in Game 4, and Big Papi David Ortiz winning it 3 innings later; Curt Schilling winning over an entire region by beating New York in Game 6 with his skin stitched into the underlying tissue in his ankle; Johnny Damon's grand slam and 2 run homer to power the Game 7 win, along with the grounder to Pokey to end it and humiliate the Yankees.

Then the World Series: First World Series game in Fenway since 1986; Mark Belhorn's winner off the Pesky Pole; Curt Schilling proving medical science wrong once again; Pedro restoring his legacy in Game 3; Then the moment of moments, waiting for the final pitch, then going wild as Renteria grounded back to Foulke for the final out. 1918-2004.

What a ride, too bad its over.

What else is there? Our hockey team lost in the playoffs on Sunday. Kind of sucks, but im getting tired of it. Maybe the winter off will help. The NHL on the other hand, seems like it's going to take the entire season off. What a shame. The Coolest Game on Earth doesn't deserve this. The NHLPA has to realize that the league isnt in the same level as the rest of the major sports and see that they make way to much money compared to money made by the owners, and that disparity is the highest in the 4 major, which is a big problem when the NHL generates paltry revenue in comparison.

College is boring. Too many papers due. Work stinks, i hate 90% of my fellow bussers, but i should probably realize that goes with the territory when your a BUSSER. Im graduating college in May, so soon enough it will all be behind me.

Someone hit my Neon at the Spring House the other night. That car has taken every type of punishment possible. Every major part has died and its been beaten to a pulp. But at over 100,000 miles, it still runs.

Current Music: Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond
Current TV: on mute
Current Mood: reserved, but optimistic

The Impossible Dream has come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-10-28T02:06:00.000-04:00

Ok, im ready.

In THE Greatest Night of My Entire Life, the Boston Red Sox, yes the Boston Red Sox, won the World Series. Wednesday October, 27 2004 will take on a life of its own in my life, that i will someday, if ever have children or grandchildren, share with the most cherished of memories.

The Red Sox won tonight 3-0 to sweep the Cardinals. I had the privilege of watching the clincher at the SpringHouse with Kyle, Brad, Fries, Droz and Lauren and a cast of others. It was a great atmosphere to watch the best moment in the history of sports. Eerie night, that included a total eclipse of the moon and someone stealing my celebratory cigars out of my neon.

Keith Foulk pitched the 9th to save the game, and the hugs and love began. It was the greatest feeling, actually watching the Red Sox winning the World Series. Something i cant put into words but something i'll never forget. This memory will last forever, until the day i die. Its something, we as Red Sox Nation, will never let go of......something that we can relive over and over, as long as we live, as a moment of total pure joy.

Current Mood: a moment in life that i will never forget

Tomorrow night, the biggest game in the history of the Red Sox.

2004-10-27T02:53:00.000-04:00

This amazing run has been unreal on the life of Richard Raymond Householder.

The Boston Red Sox are up 3-0 in the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals after winning tonight. They need to win just 1 more game to win the World Series. 1918, 86 years of history is on the line tomorrow night. Jesus.

Tomorrow night, the Boston Red Sox can win the World Series. Tomorrow night the Boston Red Sox can win the World Series. I'll never know, i imagine, how great that sentence sounds in comparison to anything in my life. At least until it becomes, Tonight the Red Sox won the World Series. Hopefully Wednesday night that can become a reality. I can't put it into words. Tomorrow night, Wednesday October 27, 2004, the Impossible Dream (37 years late) and the greatest night of my life, can become possible. Oh my, Dick Enberg, oh my indeed.

Current TV: some shit
Current Mood: We are on the cusp.

The Impossible Dream is 2 wins away

2004-10-25T02:00:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox won game 2 of the World Series tonight and have a 2-0 lead. Schilling pitched and won, and won my heart and love forever. They won game 1 on Mark Belhorn's two run shot off the pesky pole in the 8th last night. They won tonight 6-2.

What do i have to say? They are 2 wins from the World Series Title. I will not lie....i got home and i broke down. I teared up big time. I was a quivering mass of jello. 2 more wins and whatever happens the rest of my life, nothing matters. I can be a complete failure and it will be all good, as long as they win 2 more games before they lose four. Good God.

Current TV: Sportscenter, Red Sox.
Current Mood: Just 2 more, please God.

The Greatest Night of My Entire Life.

2004-10-21T01:42:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ. What do i say? The Red Sox beat the Yankees in Game 7 of the ALCS 10-3 in Yankee Stadium.

Theres so much to say. We finally after over 80 years got those bastards. We proved to the world that we can beat the Evil Empire. We showed Alex Rodriguez that he wasnt the missing link. God Bless Curt Schilling for his Game 6 win, i will love him for the rest of my life. The REDSOX are going to the WORLD SERiES. Jesus H. Christ. They got Steinbrenner, Torre, Jeter, Japsui, and the city of New York. I dont know what to say. Im delirious. They beat the bastards after down 0-3. Third time in major American sports history. Islanders, Leafs, RED SOX.

Watched the game down at the Spring House. Full of rabid Sox fans...they cancelled kareoke tonight for lords sake. Rowdy all night long. Johnny Damon, who i will love forever hit a grand slam and a two run shot as your Game 7 MVP. Ortiz won the ALCS MVP, but hell Damon made up for everything.

In the 9th, Kyle Constein, Erik Fries and i held hands at my order and watched the SOX finish off the greatest comeback ever. Hugs for Kyle, Fries, Brad and even Yankee fans. What a night. They may not win the World Series, but they are in it, and at least for one night, some punk kid in Lancaster had The Greatest Night of His Entire Life.

Current Mood: I can die tomorrow for all i care
Current TV: REDSoX ALCS HIGHLIGHTS woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWORLD SERIES! THE FUCKING WORLD SERiES! THE RED SOX ARE In THE WORLD SERIES! I WILL CRY! I WILL WEEP! THE REDSOX ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Stayin Alive!

2004-10-20T01:49:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox have done it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In front of another racuous crowd at the SpringHouse, they have won 3 straight to tie the ALCS 3-3. Wednesday night for game 7 is going to be off the hook. Get the Yankees and reverse the curse. its all good. see you for game 7.

im loaded. go sox. die steinbrenner.

The Passion of the Red Sox Fan.

2004-10-18T01:52:00.000-04:00

Running log of Game 4 of the ALCS:

12:53: Commercial break. After tying the game and getting to Mariano Riveria in the 9th, the Redsox wade thru the 10th and here they are in the top of the 11th, and Curtis Leskanic, all 90 years of him, is pitching with the bases loaded to Bernie Williams, Red Sox 4 Yankees 4.

12:55: Williams flies out to Damon in center. Whew. Riveria is out of the game, but the Red Sox are out of options in their pen....if Mendoza pitches, Francona gets fired in the middle of the game. Wakefield warms up as the Sox bat in the 11th. Commercial....keep the faith.

12:58: I decree, we will not be swept. I light up a Sundance Light. Tom Gordon was never that good for the Red Sox anyway.

12:59: Full count to Mueller.

1:00: Mueller flies out to Matsui. Go back to Chicago, you son of a bitch. Current Possible Hero: Mientkiewitz(sp?).......fuck, line out. To Tony Clark, who couldnt have been worse when he played for Boston. Damon up, time to atone for a horrible series.

1:04: Damon walks with 2 outs.....Cabrera up, Fries called him as the hero before the series started....keep the faith.

1:06: Damon steals....basehit by Cabrera can win it......keep the faith.

1:07: Gor-don! Gor-don! Gor-don! Gor-don!

1:08: Cabrera grounds out like a bitch. Wakefield is due to pitch. Who's this years Aaron Boone? I'm guessing that bastard Miguel Cairo. Commercial break.

1:10: Scratch that, Leskanic is still pitching. Tony Clark up third, i bet he summons that pinstripe mystique and hits a home run, atoning for that Mendoza like year he had in red socks. Base hit for Pussada. Shit. No outs.

1:12: Ground out off Leskanic's ass. Runner to second. Tony the Tiger up to tear my heart out....

1:14: Clark flies out, good for him. Cairo up....ah hell. 2 out.

1:16: I'd like to point out that Joe Buck and Tim McCarver couldnt be more bias towards New York if they had their faces painted Blue and White and were chanting "Lets go Yankees!" Hey, Leskanic pitches 2 great innings, striking Cairo out. No more Aaron Boone curse. For now....commercial break.

1:19: Paul Quantril pitching. Former Red Sox. Manny, D.O. and Varitek due up. He's toast. Basehit Manny! D.O. up. Looking good! No outs...keeping the faith. Another Sundance lit up.

1:23: DAVID MOTHER FUCKING ORTIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOMERUN! KEEP THE FAITH! See you today at 5:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, hell of a game. Lost our hockey game today 3-1...but i wouldnt know why since i was ejected 2 minutes in after accidentally clipping a guy in the mouth with my stick. Split his lip and broke 2 teeth, which earned me a misconduct and match penalty. Horseshit.

Work in 9.5 hours. Ah hell indeed.

Current TV: Primetime
Current Mood: Ha Ha Ha Ha Stayin' Alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like sands through the hour glass....

2004-10-14T01:47:00.000-04:00

Been a while. Again.

School, work, bar, hockey. Bar and hockey are keeping me alive. At least in Lancaster county anyway. We lost our last hockey game 10-3 in embarassing fashion, but just playing is the best.

I haven't written about the RedSox in awhile, so here's been whats up....

They dominated the Angels in the ALDS. I watched game one and two at the Old Spring House, which they won easily. Game three went here and there. I had to work, so i got to watch David Ortiz hit a two run homerun to win the series in relative quiteness infront of customers.

That was all and cool, but the bastard New York Yankees awaited in the ALCS. Again. Revenge for last year, right? Well they just lost game 2 and are down 0-2. Schilling, the whole reason everyone thought the Sox would be better than, and beat the Yanks, tore an ankle ligament and is probably out for the year. Like i said before, i never believed in the Curse, but christ, what else could explain this bullshit? Yeah, ill root for them in game 3, but what chance do they have? Bronson Arroyo? Tim Wakefield? Good night Irene. On the plus side... the Spring House has been full of Red Sox fans, which was real nice to be around common good. But its the Red Sox, and the Yankees, so why didnt i see it coming? God Dammit.

Hey, this blog has made 1000 hits. Damn. People...leave a comment or sign the guestbook please....

I'd also like to point out that no one should trust anyone with money and the words ebay, laptop and thinkpad have become synonomous with maxipad, mentrual cycle, cotex, and vaginal cramps in my mind.

Work sucks, i work with imbeciles, but there are a few people, at least one, that remain in a circle of trust. My managers are tools, they just dislike or treat me like i do not exist. Im sure thats how its gonna be for the rest of my life, but hey i have to complain about something right?

Current TV: In the Line of Fire
Current Mood: tired

Baby, if you wanna be my lover...you better take me home....cause its a long, long way to Paradise and i'm still on my own!

2004-10-01T01:03:00.000-04:00

In hockey news...we won our last 2 hockey games in dominating fashion. We beat this one team 7-1 and another 9-0. MGD is back on track. I have found a scoring touch this season. I've scored 7 goals and netted 4 assists so far in 6 games. College has looked great, Fries is on fire and in the scoring lead and Doug had a hat trick last game. Soon enough the playoffs will start and hopefully we can get another trophy.

Work sucks. But, like That Fish Place, there's a few people that i really like working with that i wouldn't want to quit outright. There also happens to be a bevy of beautiful girls that work there that i would just love to bang. A,K,L,A,L,M,J,M.

School is also quite boring. But Dr. Suzielides pulled off the ultimate---mentioning Wayne Gretzky, a special bonus that pulled me out of a near-sleep experience. Did you know that Ukranians immigrated to Western Canada in large numbers? And did you know that's where you get names like Wayne Gretzky? I didnt, but now you know and knowing's half the battle. 894 goals, 1963 assists, 2857 points. Thank goodness for the Slavs.

Current TV: Terminator 3, Rise of the Machines
Current, Always and Forever Hero and Idol: Wayne Douglas Gretzky

Lets close this place down so you can buy me a calzone

2004-09-15T14:56:00.000-04:00

The days seem to get more and more boring.

Canada won the World Cup of Hockey last night in a tight game over Finland. I was hoping it could have been the US team, but ill take a championship. Martin Brodeur looked great once again, and i no longer believe his prime has passed. Now theres the lockout to deal with, and i will be mighty pissed if there is no NHL season. What else would i do with my life?

Our hockey team tied again last Sunday. I did manage to bank a goal off the goaltenders leg from behind the net to tie the game as time expired. This is a real competitive league..every game has been really close. We have another game tonight, that im trying to get off work for, but it looks like rain anyway so f it.

College is horribly boring. Every class is an exercise in not trying to fall asleep. I get to close work tonight, then study for 2 exams tomorrow. What a life.

My garbage Neon has eclipsed 100,000 miles. Not without the rigors of each mile though. The electrical system has totally been crippled. The speedometer rarely works, the dashboard display will not light up and the radio just shuts off randomly.

Current TV: Married...with Children
Current Mood: SEVERE FINANCIAL CRISIS!

We're getting the league back together!

2004-09-03T14:44:00.000-04:00

Its been even longer since ive written here.

We started another season of MGD hockey. We lost our first game...which we should have won, but we wilted in the intolerable heat and humidity. Then we tied our second game on Tuesday. I started off with 2 break away goals and then assisted on 2 of Fries's goals, earning points on our first 4 goals. Probably the best game i've ever played, before i crashed into the boards wrist first. It hurt like a bitch, and i had to get x rays ( with no medical insurance), but it turned out to be a severe sprain. So i hope to play again in 2 sundays for our next game.

School also began earlier this week. Im glad to be back in school, but damn the classes are boring. I got a parking ticket already and havent even looked at books yet.

The World Cup of Hockey has began, my friends and yours, the Canadians have started off 2-0 and should easily take the Gold with ease.

Gary The Animal has returned home well. My birthday is Monday. Life getting better?

Current TV: Czech Republic vs. Germany in World Cup Action
Current Mood: ah yes

I just want you to know...I found a reason for me, to change who i used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is the Stanley Cup

2004-08-23T02:56:00.000-04:00

Its been a few weeks since an entry, so i figured..lets catch up.

In the interim, Gary "The Animal" Constein, father and head of the most prominent family in Lancaster PA, had a massive heart attack. Medical lingo aside, it resulted in quintuple bypass surgery. That was quite a shock to hear...but Gary made it thru the surgery and resumed throwing zingers and one-liners as if they were candy canes in late December. Good to hear.

The World Cup of Hockey starts next week. Canada looks really good going in, so anything but the Gold would be a dissapointment. Brodeur in goal and Neidermayer on D should be reliable.

Speaking of hockey....its the only thing that matters anymore. Roller Hockey starts next Sunday and the World Cup will keep me good till the middle of September. The only thing thats important is the Stanley Cup.

June 9, 2003: Greatest Day of My Life
Current TV: Sportscenter

Why is it that everyone who ever knew you, said you're a sick son of a bitch?

2004-08-09T23:38:00.000-04:00

I finally had a day off today, after a hectic work week. I worked 2 doubles, closed three times and worked 40 hours for the first time since January. I know its only 40 hours, but i spent all of them running around on a hard floor and my legs back felt it. I did get buckets of duckets though, but on the downside it all goes to bills.

After closing on Sundays, i went over to Josh's house, which i hadnt been to since we helped them move in months ago.

Possible quote of the Year:

Me: "i'm flicking ear wax on your bed."
Matt Constein: "Richard, Amy Bixler's head has been in this room. Shelly Michales' pussy has been in this room. You better have 2 pounds of ear wax if you want to phase me."

How great is that?

I guess i covered my big football stories here already, so here's the hockey story. I am THE New Jersey Devils fan. I've come from being a gigantic Raiders fan, to being a bigger Patriots fan, to the present state of Devils Devotion. As the Devils go, so do i. Playing the Flyers? They better win, or i will have to deal with it. The playoffs? Fuhgettaboutit. Stanley Cup on the line? They better win, or crimes may have to be committed. I thought about writing about the Devils 2000 Stanley Cup Championship. It was the very first time one of my teams had won anything. It was something i'll never forget and really is a story in itself. I also thought about the Devils 2003 Stanley Cup win over Anaheim. Heck, the last 3:44 of Game 7, after Jeff Friesen scored to make it 3-0 and officially seal the Cup, was probably the greatest 3:44 of my entire life. But i decided to go the opposite route and tell the story of Game 6 and 7 of the 2001 Stanley Cup Finals which pitted the New Jersey Devils and the Colorado Avalanche. That series still bothers me to this day, and i'll probably never get over it. After the Devils won the Stanley Cup in 2000, i wondered if i could still be the crazy fan i was before they won the Cup. I worried that i couldnt get into the game anymore now that they had won it all. I found out in 2001. The Devils were champs, and i wanted more. I wanted everyone to know it wasn't a fluke. I wanted the 2001 Stanley Cup more than i ever wanted the 2000 Cup, or a Red Sox World Series or a Patriots Super Bowl. The Devils made it threw the Eastern Conference Finals with ease. They met the Avs in the Finals and were in for a tough test. They got smoked 5-0 in Game 1. I was worried. The Devils bounced back and won game 2, and after game 5 they had a 3-2 series lead, and best of all...they hade Game 6 at home. They could win the Stanley Cup infront of the home fans, something they missed out on in the previous year against Dallas. The night of Game 6, i prepared. Soda-check. Snacks-check. Martin Brodeur Jersey-check. Warning to parents not to bother me until the game was over-Check. This was it, the Devils were winning the Cup at home. Very early in the first period, Scott Gomez scores for the Devils. I immediately go mad. Until i see the refs checking the instant replay. Trouble. It appears Scott Gomez accidentally kicked the puck in. He didnt intentionally, but all the same the goal was waved off. Im thinking, Big Trouble. There was the chance to strike first blood, and they lost it. Patrick Roy must be thinking this is his repreive. And it was trouble for the Devils. Before the Devils or I really knew it, it was 4-0 and there was a very troublesome Game 7 to deal with---in Denver. I was incensed. A soda bottle is throttled into the floor, exploding sheets of Coca-Cola over three walls. I wanted the Devils to win the Cup at home and they had blown it 2 years in a row. I come out of my self imposed shelter of my bedroom defeated. But there still was a Game 7. They could win it, on the road, and i still very much wanted it. Prove 2000 was for real, and the workings of a dynasty are being laid out. Game 7. I dont really remember much about the game itself. What i do recall is Alex Tanguay scoring on Brodeur on a horrible angle. 1-0. I remember Sean O'Donnell, who i hate to this day, high sticking Joe Sakic and giving Colorado a power play. A PP they used to make it 2-0. I recall the third goal, but the anger and frustration do not permit me to remember who scored it. Ah, it was Tanguay again, who i hate to this day. 3-0. I am not well. I am a boiling pot of rage ready to burst. Before i cross the line of sanity, which i never would return from, the Devils finally score off of a magnificent set play off a face off. 3-1. Right as the 2nd period ends, Petr Sykora ripped a wicked slap shot past Roy--and off the post. I fall to the carpet. I realize this is likely their last chance to score in the game. The third period begins, the Devils have 20 minutes to score 2 and tie it, or their reign as Champs ends, and Colorado's begins. As i watch the third period transpire, it becomes apparent the Avs are prepared to shut down the offense and play defense for 20 minutes and win the Cup. This becomes more apparent every time Colorado dumps the puck into the Devils zone. More so apparent as they let the Devils skate into the neutral zone, break up the pass and dump the puck back into the Devils zone. I realize whats happening after approximately the 15th this happens. Each time Colorado steals and dumps, my anger rises. Rises. And Rises. Around dump in #17, i punch the screen off my fan. #18, the wings shatter off as i punch it again. Later, 5 lb. bar bell is launched into the VCR, shattering its casing and lcd display. My room and everything in it, is quickly becoming a danger zone. I can take no more. If i stay and watch this progress any further, i might cause irrevocable damage to my room, the house, or myself. I speed off to College Boy's house. I will get him, we will find Pappy, we will get beer. I get to Kyle's and those insane bastards think it would be great fun to be sitting around the TV watching Colorado win the Cup. I walk in, see 30 seconds left on the clock, storm thru Matt almost knocking him down the stairs backwards, and make my way out the back door. I never saw the end, but i knew Ray Bourque had his Cup. I've taken some playoff loses badly, but never one that nearly pushed me to the brink of self-restraint. Every so often, i still think back to those 2 games in June of 2001 and think of what could have been. Even now that the Devils had won the Cup in 2000 and 2003. They could have had 3 Cups in 4 years. It bothers me still that they could have been one of the dominant NHL teams of this generation and missed out. What a shame.

Current TV: Austin Powers baby yeah!
Current Mood: If only they had won.

Bob Nystrom scores the goal! The Islanders win The Stanley Cup!

2004-08-04T02:03:00.000-04:00

Tonight was horrid. Woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon, and got a call from Braud asking me to work for him. I denied him. Then at 3:10, he calls back again and offers 20$ and tells me im first out. I figure Tuesday wouldnt be too busy, so i agree. Then i realize that i would not be first out, but LAST out. That wouldnt be too bad as long as it wasn't busy. But since its me, and in my life, anything bad that can happen will happen. Sorry to everyone for me being there. It was just hectic and we had to go on list. Turns out Brad hornswaggled Steph and me, so he can die the deaths of ten men for that one. Well, not before he gets me the 20$. Now i get to train Keri how to close tomorrow night, which wont be bad, because shes nice and will be there all night, so i dont get blasted by my lonesome. So goes my pitifull life.

The Red Sox traded Nomar Garciaparra the other day. He was THE fan favorite in Boston since 1999 or so. Before last year, i would never have thought they would trade their playoff megastar from 1998 and 1999. Then i watched him hit for shit in the playoffs last year, and i got real tired of him. I was all for them getting rid of his ass after the ALCS. Earlier in 2o03, Nomar rejected a 15$ million per year contract. The Red Sox management decided that he wasnt coming back, and saw how he went so far downhill batting and fielding, and decided that they should try to go after Alex Rodriguez. Needless to say that didnt pan out and it hurt poor Nomar's feelings. He started being an outcast and moping around, being a general poor sport loser crybaby. So it wasnt only neccessary to trade the big vagina. So good that hes gone. The Sox are better off without him, chemistry, defensively, and morale wise.

Since its 2am, and speaking of sports, i felt like writing out my definative sports fanatic stories. I'll start off with Baseball and do hockey and football in the coming posts.

I guess my peak fanaticism towards the Boston Red Sox was in 1995-1996. I listened to every game those summers out on my dads van radio. Nothing like being out in the van with a glass of tea and some pretzels until 2am while the Red Sox made their west coast swings. I kind of got away from Baseball, until the 2003 season. The Sox won the Wild Card, and beat Oakland in a classic series. Then they moved onto an even more classic Series against the Yankees in the ALCS. Here it was...the Red Sox and the Yanks in the playoffs again. The Red Sox had one of the best offenses in MLB history. They won game 1 and i was sure this was the series they could finally beat the curse. The series went back and forth and before i knew it, the Red Sox and Yankees would play Game 7 for the right to play in the World Series. It would be Pedro Martinez and Roger Clemens, arguably 2 of the best pitchers of the generation and my life time. Maybe the most anticipated Baseball game ever played. If Boston could win, they would finally get the Yankees after the Yankees getting them for 80+ years, finally get Roger Clemens back, and maybe get to finally win the World Series against the very beatable Marlins. The Red Sox took an early 4-0 lead, chased Clemens from the game and really really looked like they could pull it off. I was gleefull. More than the Game 7, i wanted them to stick it to Clemens, Steinbrenner, and New York city. The Yankees pulled within 4-2, then they brought in David Wells to pitch to David Ortiz. Wells first pitch was belted by Ortiz into the black stands in dead center. It was 5-2, and i was absolutely positive they were going to do it, Pedro was still cruising. Get the Yankees! Revenge! 1918, Babe Ruth, Bucky Dent...all would be alright after that night. Flash forward to the 8th. Red Sox still up 5-2, Pedro still pitching. Pedro lets up some hits and its 5-3. 2 men on, 1 out. Still the Red Sox have the 2 run lead and are 5 outs away. Grady Little comes out to check on Pedro. At home, i yell at the screen: "Its Pedro, hes the best, he's going to reach back and pull the best pitches of his career out of that glove and we are going to the World Series!" Little checks, asks Pedro, leaves him in, heads to the dug out. I feel fine, the right decision has been made. One broken bat single from Jorge Posada later, all of New England, Red Sox nation, and 1 fan in Lancaster Pennsylvania, are awestruck. Deflated, i see the Yankees tie the game. I cannot get over it. They had it and blew it. Its 1978 and the Boston Masacre all over again. Its 4 game sweeps to Oakland in 1988 and 1990 all over again. Its Bill Bucker Game 6 10th inning all over again. Boston was in control, and they blew it. I never believed there was a curse on Boston, but now it was apparent. Destined to get to the brink, only to blow it in the worst imaginable way. Sure it was still a tie game. They could have technically won the game. But i knew better. After Martinez gave up the 2 runs in the 8th to tie it, there was no chance in hell of the Red Sox winning that game. The 9th went by, along with the 10th. I don't think the Red Sox made solid contact off Mariano Rivera, let alone a hit. After the Red Sox half of the 11th, i got in bed and tried to fall asleep before the Yankees won. Before the commercial break, they showed the Yankees due up in the bottom of the 11th. I saw Aaron Boone was up first. Instantly, i knew Boone, who couldnt hit the broad side of a barn since the Yankees traded for him months earlier, like any other schmuck New York gets and turns into a playoff and World Series hero does, would hit a homer to win it. I just knew it. So i flip thru the channels during the break. Lets see what happens, i think to myself as i change it back to the game. When i get back to FOX, i am greeted with the Yankees dancing around home plate. I bounce out of bed. What happened i scream. After a minute of seeing the Yankees parade around, American League Champions, i found out. Sure enough, Aaron Boone hit Tim Wakefields first pitch into the left field stands. That son of a bitch, who hit like Bob Ueker the entire time he was with the Yankees, hit a home run to become the hero. I wasn't dismal because Boston had lost. It was like i was hurt that i would actually believe Boston could beat New York. I felt so gullible. The Red Sox had made it so far...5 outs from the World Series, and they blew it. Getting to that point alone was so hard, getting back might take another 85 years. So after i was clued into how they lost it, i was off like a race car to the Fairview to meet up with Kyle to bitch and complain.

Current TV: Quantum Leap

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

2004-07-30T23:39:00.000-04:00

Business as usual here lately. Monday night worked at Fridays, the first day back since Vegas. Always nice to get back to the grind. After work Brad and I went with some other co workers to Damons. Had a few there, then went out to Hot Z to have some more drinks with Droz and Brads friend Nick. Had 3 beers and a shot of jager which really put a hit on me. Then if that wasnt enough, Brad and I went down to the Springhouse, and had a few more. We talked to Hollywood there for a bit, then took back to the Compound. There, quite a night unfolded. I was blitzed to start, but then we started in on the X Box Kareoke that Eric picked up. First we listened to the gold that Matt and Eric recorded earlier. That was great as is, then we all made some more songs that had me laughing harder than i laughed in ages. Tears were flowing, i couldnt stay in my seat and i nearly yakked. Just like the Golden Days at the Compound.

Then tonight Eric, Donna, Gary and I went over to Kate's parents house for their party to commerrate Kyle and Kates engagement. They played a funny Newlywed game that Eric made a blast.

College starts again in about 4 weeks, and i cant wait to get back learning....

Current TV: Seinfeld
Current Mood: end the pain

Las Vegas, what a town!

2004-07-26T12:53:00.000-04:00

Whew...just back from Las Vegas last night at 4 am. What a trip. That city never sleeps. There is no such thing as a last call. You can get beer at any moment, any minute of the day. We stayed at the Lady Luck hotel, on the 23rd floor across the hall from my Uncle Barry, Aunt Betty, and my cousins Kristy and Barry. I also got to see my Uncle Jack and Aunt Mary Lou, who live out there, and whom i am so very jealous.

I think my dad said it best: "5% of the United States most beautiful women are in Las Vegas, Nevada at any given time." So many hotties wearing so little. Seriously, everywhere you look. But for every stunning beauty, there were nearly as many crazy asses, who were either drunk or total whackos. I dont know how many times people came up to me asking for cigarettes or dollar bills and what not.

We checked out the strip which was nice, but it was hot as hell. It was 120 degrees at its hottest, which was about 50 or 60 degrees hotter than the temperature in Philadelphia when we flew back. The sun just beat down unforigiving...but its better than the hotness in Lancaster because there is no humidity. I ended up getting pretty chapped lips from it. We saw Caesars Palace, the MGM Grand, Bally's, along with Paris and New York, New York, both of which are huge hotels modeled after each city. Just unbelieveable. We stuck mostly to a place called the Fremont Experience, which is worth the trip alone. Lined with shops and casinos, its a street about 1-2 football fields long. But the real treat is the half-dome built over top of the street. It has a GIANT tv screen built into the underside of it, which shows these unbelievable programs like alien invasions, water shows, a tribute to the USA, and an Elvis bit. Along with a huge sound system, it would totally blow you away. It truly has to be seen to be believed.

Then there was the buffets. Ohhh, the buffets. Every casino has one, and we checked out 4 total. Just rows and rows and tables and tables of great cuisine. I cant believe i didnt gain any weight in the trip, but i guess walking in the damn heat took it all off.

I stuck to gambling on the slot machines. My dad tried his luck on the black jack tables, and won a small amount. I pumped i guess about 50$ into various slot machines and have nothing to show for it. I would win small amounts occaisionally, but i would lose it soon after. I guess its part of the experience, throwing money away Vegas style.

All said, it was a great trip. I got a few t shirts, an off the wall Vegas ashtray, and the crown jewel: a 5'x3' Canadian flag which i found in a gift shop for 6$. Another quest is realized. If i had to pick to the worst part, it would be the 5 hour plane rides back and forth, but even those were managable.

Current TV: Unsolved Mysteries
Current Mood: Back to the grind.

Its the Marquee de Nable! Enemy of the People!

2004-07-19T20:06:00.000-04:00

It has been a unreal week or so. Last Wednesday, we all adjourned to the SpringHouse for Kareoke, in which we rocked or did not rock the house, depending on who you asked. We sang We Didnt Start the Fire, American Pie and Friends in Low Places. No Summer of 69 though.

Then onto this weekend, i started off at College's party where there was a multitude of people. I got a call from Jeff Henry of all people, who was at a "That Fish Place" party at Patty Little's house. Nice to see that Jeff Henry and i can still hurl insults at each other like days of old. Plus Lauren was there, and was wearing a smoking outfit, which i just loved. Then back to the party at Kyle's house, where upon leaving i backed into Kate's sisters car. Just like old times.

Now i go to Las Vegas in 3 days, and it should be super.

Current TV: Law and Order SVU
Current Mood: no work!

My Name is SUE, HOW DO YOU DO!?

2004-07-13T20:17:00.000-04:00

Not bad. Went to the mall to try to gather my tips and paycheck from Fridays, but all the managers where holed up in some meeting so i had to leave penniless. Might try to get them later with Braud. Earlier today i went over to the Compound to get my Marlins hat, then turned out to drive Don and Braud over to get pizza. Then it was to the SpringHouse to have some beers with Fries, who i ran into.

Kareoke is going down tomorrow night, and from what i hear its gonna be loaded, so that means we can make fools out of ourselves infront of tons of strangers. Cant wait for that.

Other than that, theres really not much to live for. Looks like i'll be in the garage if you need me.

Learn it:
O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Goolies!

2004-07-11T03:09:00.000-04:00

Tonight was pretty cool. Worked for 22 minutes at Fridays, before leaving and checking out Ruffino's for some slices. Got my pictures back from Maine A Mania, and they turned out great...even if a number of photos were taken without my knowledge.

Later in the night, i met up with Brad and Dan at the Spring House for some merry ale, and then had a beer or so with Eric after he finished work. Then we went down to the former Emersons, to check out the biker white trash wet tshirt contest. All of the girls were nasty, but a few took their t shirts up...so it wasnt too bad, but still left you with a sick feeling in your gut. BUT, i did see JOHN F'N DANKS, the greatest bartender of all time and that will ever be. Danks was the man when he tended bar there, making life in general worth living. Seems that he has a bar of his own now, so that will be the new destination. Afterwards, we went down to the Villa Nova, where Eric tried to get served to no avail. That served to piss Brad off, since he knew the bartender. It was a valiant try, but i understand why it pissed Brad off. Later i drove Brad home and we had a nice long conversation in the Compound driveway about life in general. One of those talks that afterwards, youre really glad you had.

Red Sox won tonight, and they seem to have gotten off the schnide that they were mired in. Still 6 games behind the Yanks, so they have work to do.

Am i wrong to think that Anna Heche is hot, even thought she's a butch dyke? OH well, not my problem, the FOOD ALONE IS WORTH THE TRIP!

Current TV: Psycho
Current Mood: a little better, but still sucks.

The food alone is worth the trip!

2004-07-08T12:52:00.000-04:00

Maine A Mania came and went and it was quite interesting. Four and a half days spent in Maine with the Constein Clan getting eaten alive by mosquitos. Here are some of the highlights and/or lowlights of the trip:

-Van Ride From Hell: We set out at 9pm Friday night. 7 people crammed into a Quest with tons of luggage and groceries and a dog that shed more hair than previously thought possible. We were crammed into the Van from 9pm until 6am when we arrived in Maine. Then since we could not get into our place until 2. So we drove around in the van until 2 when we finally arrived and could enter the house.

-7 cases of beer consumed in 4 days. Molson Canadian, Miller Light, Bud Light, Corona and even a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon Pounders. That and we took to shots of Southern Comfort and Lime starting at 11:50am at one point. Every day consisted of waking up, screwing off, then getting loaded as the night ended.

-Gary the Insult Comic Man. Every day, i was barraged with a slew of classic insults from The Animal. Classic stuff, like did the doctor spank my mother when i was born, or does my hat have 4 corners on it as well, or questioning my baseball knowledge of Jim Thome's home run totals or the correct record keeping of the sacrifice fly.

-Whats Up!?: We ventured out to Bath, Maine, and Eric made his way thru the town wearing these great cop sunglasses yelling WHATS UP!? to every attractive girl that dared pass by. It became the catchphrase of trip, along with "say puppy!" and "the food alone is worth the trip", both via the classic comedy Almost Heroes.

Finally the trip ended with The Plane Ride From Hell. We got to the airport at 4:30 in time for our scheduled 5:15 flight. 4 delays later, we finally borded at about 9:10. It was a horrid wait with nothing to do while we waited thru each delay. Finally we got on the flight and there was a totally psychotic drunk New York skank who was trying to hook up with a guy she met in line. They sat in the back, and this guy realized what a bitch this girl was and told her to shut the fuck up, and she went nuts, crying and swearing, and yelling that she hoped the plane would crash. Then she said she would kick anyones ass who messed with her luggage, spilled her pills everywhere and tried to light up a cigarette. We went from supposed to being home at 8 all the way to after midnight. The perfect capper to the entire trip.

There were bright moments, like the ESPN NHL hockey tournament that Matt won, which included a 7 overtime thriller between College and Braud. The celebration woke up Gary who ran down in his boxers to see what the hell was going on. Seeing College piss drunk was a nice flashback to days of old, but his special brand of humor was a tad off putting, if you were there, you know what i mean.

So now i have 2 weeks to save up for Las Vegas. What a month.

Current TV: Law and Order
Current Mood: ah hell.

Jason Arnott, in exactly the right place to handcuff Ed Belfour, and the Devils are the Champions

2004-06-28T22:32:00.000-04:00

Quite a few days. Saturday College, Matt and I went to pitch and putt at Evergreen. Damn i suck at golf. Matt hit the flag off the tee, but everything went down hill from that point for all us. More so for me than those 2.

Then after work, sat with Braud and Steph and drank Coronas(at $3.80 a peice!?). Then made it down to House of Pasta where College, Kate, Christina and Wayne were hanging out. Along with them were some funny characters, including a feisty black girl that had me in tears in the corner by the fence. She was shaking her ass in my face and talking like a man, and Wayne was great repaying a favor from Colleges bbq a few weeks back. Quite a night.

Red Sox Update: They picked up the weekend series with the Filthies, but still are 6 games behind the Spanks. The Wild Card looks to be the target, but im still convinced, Next year is This year. Manny is off the radar so far and Schilling is the man.

"You can't be afraid to slay the dragon."--Mark Messier, 1994

Maine-A-Mania: 4 days and counting.
Current TV: Raw

Everybody's got a price. Everyone's gonna pay.

2004-06-25T00:13:00.000-04:00

MGD 2, the others 9. Yeah, the less said about that the better.

Maine A Mania draws closer and i'm jazzed. Drunken nights, hangover mornings, Gary the Animal, sports talk. Collegeboy, Don Cornstein and Allure's own shining star Eric Constein. Apparently we are going to jam 15 people into a 4 bedroom house, which means i get the floor. Can't wait.

QVC and TGI Fridays have ravaged my body. Every ache and pull has intensified. I feel 90 years old.

Would you like a chocolate?

2004-06-22T20:56:00.000-04:00

Tonight was to be the deciding game of the League Championship of our hockey league. Inches 1,000,000 to 1,500,000 of rain in the last week cancelled that. Rain always kills my plans. Dammit. We started out down 1-0 in the series after an OT loss, then came back to tie the series 3-2 last night. So Wednesday is it, Cup # 2. Since Durkin is in Florida, his jersey will be hanging in tribute, just like his 10 game suspension days of old. I could use the extra day, since i have a heinously pulled groin muscle, that has ruined my walking. One wrong turn and its coming off the bone. I cant even cross my damn legs or piss straight because of it.

Back on Sunday, i enjoyed quite the time. Chit chat at the compound with Gary and Braud, then down to the Spring House with those 2, The Lovely Miss Donna, College and Matt. Good time had by all, then adjourned back to the Compound for beers and sports talk with Gary and the boys, which is always heartwarming and enlightening.

I picked up Forrest Gump the other day on DVD for 14$. I always knew it was good, but it just might have knocked Casablanca off its perch of my personal selection for best movie ever. Gary Senise is really great in it.

Current Mood: ohhh, my groin
Current TV: Law and Order
Wednesday Night is Great For: Cup

The Story of the Stanley Cup Picture

2004-06-19T02:06:00.000-04:00

Whew. Worked at Fridays again..and that girl Ashlen fucked me over again. Should have gotten out around 930, but didnt until 10:30. That pisses me right off.

Tomorrow i close, which should be some sort of hell, but the beauty that is Natalie will soothe the wounds.

So after work i went on down to the Springhouse and met up with College, Josh, Cindy, Kate, Amy, Fries, his girl Lauren and three of her friends. And it was one of the best times out ive had in ages. No one seemed to realize that Foreigner sang "I wanna know what love is," but i knew, so its all good. Great night.

I've damn near had enough of everything. Work, school, life. It cant only get better though.

The Stanley Cup Picture Story

June 2000. Chester and I decided to fly to Toronto Ontario, Canada. Just to go to Canada was worth it in itself. But there were more important circumstances: The Stanley Cup. For those who are unaware, there are two copies of Lord Stanley's Cup. Normally the original would reside on Younge Street in downtown beautiful Toronto. But, we were there during the Stanley Cup Finals, so the main Cup was following the Dallas Stars and the New Jersey Devils throughout the Finals. A second replica waited for us in the Hall of Fame. Chester and I made no haste...the Cup was in our reach and we mus'nt make waste. We were in Canada for 1 hour before we made our way to the Hockey Hall of Fame to complete our journey to stand infront of The Holy Grail. We purchased our entrance pass into the grand Hall. We politely made our way through the hallowed Hall and through the brand new Wayne Gretzky exhibit. We paid our respects to the Greatest One. But fullfillment of our journey laid ahead. We followed our manual map to the treasured Trophy Room. The Ultimate Journey began at the steps. To our right, a team photo of the Dallas Stars rested, at that moment the reigning Stanley Cup Champions. A mere 2 days later, the New Jersey Devils team photo would occupy that glorious space. So, Chester and I took our first, yet final steps to see what every Canadian boy ever dreamed. My life's journey neared complete. We ascended the steps. I walked, with nervous trepidation, and entered the Trophy Room. I was nervous. More nervous than i had ever been. I entered the room, and there amongst the various hardware, by itself, under the lights, the centerpiece of the room and my journey in life, sat The Stanley Cup. All i could muster was a breft, "there it is," to my fellow traveler. I have read and heard stories of obscure people who have claimed to have met the Virgin Mary or our Lord Jesus Christ, and their descriptions of their encounters were no different than mine at that moment. Like a father seeing his newborn for the first time, i was completely mesmorized. We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice. I was within reach of the Stanley Cup. The same trophy that Wayne Gretzky won four times. The trophy Gordie Howe, and Jean Beliveau, and Bobby Orr fought for. The same Cup that Scott Stevens, Martin Brodeur, Scott Neidermayer, Mario Lemieux, Mike Bossy, Guy Lafleur, Rocket Richard, Ted Lindsay, Patrick Roy, Steve Yzerman, Lanny MacDonald, and Larry Robinson spent their entire lives dedicated to attaining. Those greats, and i had the chance to be with the Ultimate Prize. I cautiously stepped forward and took the in the moment. There was only one thing to do. Get my picture taken with the Stanley Cup. I paid the $14 Canadian, and stood on the cusp of immortality. As i waited, i wrapped my arm around the podium, afraid to actually touch the Silver Grail. Unbeknownst to the guard, i slipped a few fingers onto the Cup. A flash, and my life was complete. Me and the Stanley Cup, captured in time forever. After that moment, nothing was the same ever again. The picture of me and the reason for existence hangs proudly on my wall. The culmination of the greatest trip ever taken.

Current Mood: $1.50 bud light drafts
Current Music I can't get out of my head: Bette Davis Eyes
Coming Soon: The Final Post.

Dick, he's always said, the only thing that's important is the Stanley Cup.

2004-06-17T23:28:00.000-04:00

Today i finally had a day off. No QVC or TGI Fridays, just a day off to relax. Played a little playstation, watched some tv and had some good ole R&R. Later in the eve, went to the Springhouse for some beers. It was great, reminisced about the golden days....Emerson's, fishing and drinking at the Compound with Fries, drinking underage on the backporch while Brad, Eric or Matt brought their underage friends over to drink or smoke pot. I really miss the good ole days. Later we went up to the Fairview for the first time in ages, and saw the lady who calls me Eric all the time. Then we stopped back to the Springhouse and BSed with Amanda. Great night.

Our hockey team has made it to the league finals for the 5th time since we started. We've only won one of the first four so far, so hopefully we can pull another one out of our ass and have another trophy.

Tomorrow i work, but i dont close....maybe they got the idea that they were making me close every night and felt some pity. Either Brad said something on my behalf or they just forgot. Seems like Natalie is closing more than I anymore since she graduated highschool. I would feel sorry for her, but she is one of the top 10 most beautiful girls i've ever met, so yeah.

Current TV: Seinfeld, the one with the raincoats and the close talker.
Current Mood: alot of Bud Light
Current Wardrobe: Wifebeater and adidas shorts

up your nose with a radiator hose

2004-06-13T22:33:00.000-04:00

Going back to New Castle was a success. The trip to and back wasn't the hell i thought it would be. Got to see alot of family members that i have not seen in years like Aunt Shirley and Aunt Vera, along with Rick and Cindy and Uncle Charles and his family. Played some of the worst volleyball ever, but it was fun.

We came back early so i could play in our playoff game today. We did win a tough game, but i played like hell. Just one of those days i guess.

Now i get back to working, which means 7am to noon at QVC tomorrow morning, then a 5 hour reprieve before i close(again) at TGI Fridays, which means i miss game 2 of our playoffs dammit.

I now have a choice to make. Do i go to Maine with the Consteins in early July or do i go to Las Vegas with my parents and my Aunt and Uncle and cousins? I could possibly pull both off, but it would hurt the finances. Ive got a month to figure it out.

Current TV: Red Sox - Dodgers
Current Mood: pulled muscles everywhere

Home sweet Hell

2004-06-10T14:44:00.000-04:00

Got back to closing at Fridays again last night. Wasn't too bad, since i had a 3 day break. Close again today...i wonder if they are giving me the shaft by making me close all of the time.

Tomorrow, bright and early, im going back home to New Castle, PA for the first time in 5 years. Not my favorite town in the world, even though its where i was born and all of my relatives live there. I just hate the 5 hour ride cramped into a back seat. And i read that more people die there than any other county in the entire state of Pennsylvania. But Doink the Clown of World Wrestling Federation fame was born there, and Rodney King made his home there for a time. I do get to goto my cousin Kristy's highschool graduation party and everyone will be there so thats not bad.

Married...with Children:

Peg: Would you ever dance for me Al?
Al: Only at the end of a rope, baby.

Andreychuk = Cup

2004-06-08T13:15:00.000-04:00

Monday was a hell of a day. Started off bright and early for orientation at QVC. It seems like a nice place to work, if you dont mind working with retarded, moronic, white trash, brain dead idiots. The people in orientation could not grasp the simple ideas of the workplace and kept us in there for an extra half hour trying to comprehend something a grade schooler could have realized. But it seems like an easy enough and neat job with good pay.

Afterwards i joined Kyle down at the Springhouse to watch Game 7 between the Lightning and the Flames. It was an ok game, with ALOT of questionable calls against Calgary. But Iginla couldn't get it done. I wanted Calgary to win it, but good for Andreychuk. Brad and John joined us later and after the game we tried to get to the Underground but that was closed, so we got to Villa Nova which was open for business. Had beer, shots of vodka and tequilla and i was pretty smashed. And i spent way too much money. All in fun though.

Current TV: Law and Order
Current Mood: bleh

This one's for the Gipper

2004-06-06T00:35:00.000-04:00

Quite an interesting day.

I was looking for the Belmont Stakes on the TV in the lobby at work for the people waiting when i found out that Ronald Reagan had died. Pretty shocking. Cleary one of the most popular Presidents and one of the greatest. As President, he oversaw the end of the Cold War and the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, two of the biggest moments in world history. Quite a resume.

Then the Belmont Stakes. I was surprised to see that Everyone in Fridays was into the race. Sucks that Horse Racing garners more attention than the Stanley Cup Finals, but it was cool to watch regardless. Smarty Jones started out 3rd or so, and then he took a large lead coming around the final turn. The crowd at the bar was going crazy. Then down the stretch he lost steam and lost to some other horse. Every year it happens, seems like they just run out of gas at the end.

Then the Stanley Cup Finals. I tried to watch as much as i could at work, but i ended up missing Tampa's goal in double overtime. Kind of dissapointing, seeing that i would have loved to see Calgary win it infront of their rabid fans.

Three bad incidents makes for quite a bad day. But i finally can look to a day off tomorrow and a hockey game at noon.

Current Mood: RIP RWR
Current TV: Fox News

I reccomend the sugar pucks..they're excellent.

2004-06-04T00:59:00.000-04:00

What a week so far. Close Close and more Close at TGI Fridays. I finally got out of closing today which was great. I get another reprieve tomorrow, then close again Saturday. Then i finally get a day off Sunday, the first since last Thursday. This job would really suck if there weren't about 20 hot ass bitches working there to stare at. I spent today trying to find a passenger side rear view mirror to get my car to pass inspection. There's something about junk yards that is weird, kind of like the Klopek's house in The Burbs. I finally found one at Earl and Jack's Auto Grave Yard for 35$, not cheap but cheaper than getting the garage to order one.

Brad Constein has turned 21 and it ready to take on the world. He took time out of his celebration to phone me around 1 am, and while the connection was horrible and he was drunk as shit, i could make out that he just called to say he loved me, and that Razor Ramon was his bartender....classic. Can't wait for the opportunity where College, Gary the Animal and myself can drink with Brad, should be a night to remember.

Eric Constein on the other hand, finally anted up the 250$ he owed from the great cell phone debacle of about 2 years ago. Receiving the money in my hand was one of those great moment of moments, like the time College finally paid me the 140$ he owed me (after i did not see him for nearly 2 years after the moment i lent it to him), or the time the Devils won the Cup in double overtime, or like the time Brad and i got so high, that even looking at each other made us laugh so hard that our hearts nearly stopped. Now i just need $14.99 from Matt for the Hooters shirt i bought him, and about $6,349 from CollegeBoy and the entire family is out of the red in my ledger.

The Calgary Flames won in overtime tonight and they stand to bring the Stanley Cup home to Canada on Saturday night, which is great but i have to work. Damn it. I'm already looking to next season for the Devils. They have Zach Parise signed and he looks good and theres another rookie that is supposed to be great, but they better get a big hitting defensive defenseman like Chris Pronger.

Quote of the day:

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."--Confucious

or

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the valley of fear
To the river so deep
I've been searching for something
Taken out of my soul
Something I would never lose
Something somebody stole (?)--Billy Joel, River of Dreams

Current Music: Billy Joel
Current Drink: leftover Miller High Life

In southeast Asia, we call this kind of thing Bad Karma

2004-05-31T02:35:00.000-04:00

Hey now. Saturday work closed early as the main grill caught on fire and halted any closing duties i may have have had that day.

Sunday came and went...Lacy got fired so i was the last out..but got out around 7 so i could goto College's Memorial Day party. Andi must tell you, it was great. Im used to going to a sausage party via the Constein's, but tonight was different. A good time all around....got to chat with Matt about the Lakers and the NFL, which was great. Later, College and I won 2 games of beer pong. Extra special thanks to Cindy and Christina for their candid female talk hahah. All in all, it was a great party and id like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Constein for having it.

As for real life...i close tomorrow and the next 3 days. I wonder if im going to quit or not. Just a giant hassle. oh well.

Cant wait to close tomorrow.

The 'Burbs

"You know what they say about old men. They don't ever leave their house without their hair."---Rumsfield

"What have you got in the cellar Herr Klopek!?"--Rumsfield

Citizen's arrest! Citizen's Arrest! I Ray Peterson am placing you under citizen's arrest!---Ray Peterson

Get busy living or get busy dying

2004-05-28T01:16:00.000-04:00

Ah yes. MGD continued its winning ways Wednesday, winning 11-1. 2 goals and an assist, making 11 points on the year, are you listening Kate? We totally dominated and Fries had no remorse, scoring with 1 second left in the game.

Our gang has found a new tavern to suit our drinking needs, the Spring House. Its a great place, and it doesnt have the problems the Fairview has; little to no parking, dive atmosphere, bums and general pathetic-ness. So we bid adieu to the Fairview, it was a dump anyway.

Somehow, despite the outlandish number of Consteins living in the area, i get hoodwinked into taking Eric to the Bus Station tomorrow at 8 am. I swear i keep that family on its feet, but Eric's blog is a modern marvel.

This weekend looks bright. Friday work, then to the Spring House for some offbeat shenanigans. Saturday I close at TGI Fridays. Then Sunday its work again, but then off to College's Labor Day or Memorial Day or whatever holiday cook out. I will be intoxicated and i will hit on Kate's sister. Should be fun.

Current Mood: ohhh, 8am
Current Wardrobe: cargo shorts and a shirt i bougt at the mall today for $4.95

The Doug Duncan Tribute

2004-05-25T00:44:00.000-04:00

Our hockey team won Sunday 8-7 in the unforgiving relentless heat. We played that game in hell. I could feel the heat coming off my body making me even hotter. Fries had 5 goals, one off a nice assist from me, and i even scored for once, off a nice pass from Corey. After that i trudged into work. Closed today, and was supposed to close Tuesday, but Steph did me the giant favor of closing so i can goto College's birthday party. And now without further adieu.....

Douglas Randolf Duncan, 1942-2001

Doug Duncan was a great man. The best black man i've ever known. I met him at That Fish place and worked with him for a few years. He was unbelievably funny guy to know. Old, tall, salt and pepper hair and goatee, and he had a southern like drawl to his voice that was unmistakable in that fish place. He sounded just like Bill Cosby in his dragged out bum sounding voice that he always does. But, he got sick and died 3 years ago today. He's probably the closest person i've ever known that has died. So lets remember the good times.

First off, he was a down on his luck kind of guy. Lived in a room above a bar called Bully's right in Columbia, PA. He drove this old beat up Crown Victoria that looked like it had been through war. He would shave in the bathroom at work and sleep in the back during his lunch hour. He didnt give a damn though, he was just going thru the motions. He would get an empty gatorade bottle, throw in some kool-aid and add some vodka and drink it at work, haha what an act. One day i was leaving work and he was waiting for a ride home that never came. Since i lived somewhat near his place i drove him home. Soon i was picking him up in the morning and driving him home after work. We'd pick up breakfast and sometimes get dinner on the way home. It probably was quite the sight; me the whitest guy in the world and this old black guy driving all around Lancaster and Columbia and back again. Somehow he got to calling me Pokemon, which then migrated into Pokey-Poke. He on the other hand, went by Pappy, his old CB handle from driving truck. Odd but very funny.

I would always be lending him money, but he was very good at paying it back. Since he could rarely afford gas, i would be his chauffer to many destinations. Like the time we went ALL over York, trying to find a new body for his beat up Ford, or the junk yard down the street. I still heed his advice from that day: This is York, you dont leave the car running. The best thing about his car, was that it was in shreds. The kids in his neighborhood would steal it and beat the hell out of it, then return it. Added to that, he let the inspection and registration run out. He put these fake stickers from work on the plates to fool the cops. When that ploy failed, we drove all over Lancaster trying to find an abandoned license plate to put on his car. That also didnt pan out, which landed him in jail over Christmas back in 2000.

He also was CollegeBoy and my source to find beer before we turned 21. Like i said, he didnt give a damn, as long as we gave him a few beers or a handle of the cheapest vodka available. The best was when we would get him later in the night, and have to hear his hilarious rants about us dragging his ass down the steps. College and I still remember him coming down in the maroon sweat pants and the beanie, classic.

And he always had the best stories. He'd tell me these outrageous stories in the car that would have me laughing so hard. I'd start dying and he would have to take the wheel and keep us on the road. I remember 2 of the best ones. The first was when he was playing baseball back when he was a teenager. He was running home and collided with the catcher. He said it was a brutal crash and it knocked his teeth out. The catcher made the mistake of laughing at his plight, so Doug picked him up and shot put him into the backstop. That was a great one, but my favorite was when he went on a rant about the neighborhood kids stealing his car. He said they would take the car and tear up the interior and drive it into ditches then drag it back to his place. He was telling me how pissed he got and how he would disconnect the battery so they couldnt make off with it. As i was driving he pulled out a little box of tools and said "I need to be a damn mechanic to start my car in the morning!" That time I nearly had to pull over the car, i was laughing so hard the tears were flowing. All that just to get kids to stop stealing his car.

I think the best moment was when we were in the Tabacco shop waiting for him to get lottery tickets. I was reading Maxim magazine while he was in line. He came up to me, told me i was waisting my time with magazines like that, and without taking his eyes off me, reached over and grabbed a copy of Black Tail Magazine, and said that was what i should be looking at. Easily one of the funniest moments ever.

When he was younger he got in a bad car accident and needed a blood tranfusion. He told me thats where his liver problems began. They got progressively worse and the last time i saw him was when i picked him up from the hospital. I dont know why i got the call, but i went and got him. We went to the Musser's grocery store to get some grocieries. I took him back to his place and dropped him off. It was about 2 weeks later that i heard that he had passed away from the liver problem. I hadn't seen him since he was unable to work.

If i think about it, the best thing i can say about Doug Duncan is that he deserved far more than he got. He wasn't above crossing the law, but he was no criminal. He was just getting by. The best part about him was just seeing him in all his glory. Just seeing the way he acted whether it be the Tobacco shop or the loading dock at work, and how he interacted with people and the world. So here's to Doug Duncan. To close here's the poem that was printed on the pamphlet given out at his funeral:

AFTERGLOW

I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.

I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times, and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

I'd like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun
Of Happy memories that i leave when life is done.

Never take Barry Melrose for granted.

2004-05-23T01:42:00.000-04:00

Tonight the last episode of nhl2night aired on espn. And its a horrible shame. I don't know if it was due to bad ratings or the new TV deal the NHL just signed, but theres no more Melrose or Buccigross to cover the NHL and the greatest sport on earth on a nightly basis. I didnt watch as much as i should have in the past 2 seasons, and now that its over, i feel shamed. I'm always a sucker for finality and things ending. Just a simple show about a sport, but the world is a darker place without it. With any hope Melrose will still do the studio show inbetween periods next season and beyond.

I closed work tonight, which was a hassle. Tomorrow i get up early to play hockey, then speed home to shower and im off to another Sunday of work. THEN i get to close Monday and Tuesday back to back.

In brighter hockey news, the Lightning beat the Flyers in Game 7 tonight and move onto the Finals, for the right to win the silver chalice, the greatest trophy and accomplishment in sport, The Stanley Cup. Damn, never would have guessed at seasons start that Tampa and Calgary would be there. New blood for the Cup.

Current TV: Ghostbusters, excellent
Current Mood: sense of loss

"This wasn't a dream, it was a vision. These people are Satanists, as it sit here, they are Satanists"

2004-05-22T01:38:00.000-04:00

I didn't think anything was going to happen tonight, so i went to the Fairview for a drink or two when Matt from that fish place called. I met up with him and a load of old co-workers at the MidWay. Its a collosall dive, but got to see the old crew. Once i got there, it was quite fun, especially Gordon, Matt and Greg. Angel(! beauty) and Chechi and Brad were there, nice to see them.

I finished The Da Vinci code in record time. 380+ pages in about 12 hours, with 6 hours of sleep inbetween. Now, ive never been a big religous fanatic or a church goer, but The Da Vinci Code is one hell of a book. Its all about the search for the illustrious and mysterious Holy Grail. In the book the Holy Grail, contrary to popular belief, is not a cup that Jesus Christ used at the Last Supper and later caught blood from Christ's body at the Crucifiction. Dan Brown claims it is in fact a bunch of documents and the bones of Mary Magdalene. The documents claim that Jesus was not a godly being, but a normal, albeit great, human being that married and had a child with the aforementioned Mary. It follows the efforts of a secret society called the Priory of Sion, a group that vowed to hold onto the secret of Jesus and protect His offspring's lineage. It also blasts the Catholic Church for denegrating women throughout history and killing thousands to suppress the secret about Jesus. Interesting stuff. Like i said, ive never been too much into religion, but it made me think. So good that i downloaded Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons," which is another foray into anti-Catholic Church thought.

The Flyers managed to beat the Lightning in overtime last night, after tying the game with under 2 minutes remaining. That pissed me off royally, now the Flyers have a chance to actually make it to the Finals. But i trust Calgary will kick the Flyers or Tampa's ass anyway. Never bet against Canada.

Current TV: history channel
Current Mood: f bomb

The Stanley Cup is Must See TV

2004-05-20T00:20:00.000-04:00

Good day. Day off, and i went over to the QVC interview and got that job. 9.40$ an hour, which is nice and i make my own schedule. I went out and spent money to get recordable CDs to burn music, but my damn cd rom drive appears to be broken. I tried it and it jammed up my entire computer, and wouldnt play normal music discs dammit. Work tomorrow, so ill miss Tampa kicking the Flyers out of the playoffs, fingers crossed.

Calgary won tonight and will play TAMPA or philadelphia in the Finals starting next week. Good for Canada and my money is on Jarome Iginla for the Conn Smythe. I told all that this would be the playoffs that would introduce Iginla into superstardom.

Jerry Orbach did his final Law & Order tonight and it was a good episode and they did a nice job of sending him off. But, i heard that Dennis Farina is going to replace him, which sucks. But he was good in Midnight Run.

I also downloaded the Da Vinci Code off Kazaa and it looks pretty interesting. Im on page 13 out of 383.

In yet another odd story...I felt an urge for a toasted bagel and creme cheese earlier tonight, but the toaster wouldn't work. It wouldnt work in any of the outlets in the kitchen, but the clock on the coffee maker was on, so i tried all of the outlets with no luck. So naturally, the only outlet it would work in in the whole house was the bathroom. So i fired it up and had a nice hot toasted bagel.

Current TV: Jay Leno
Current Canada: Tickled Pink(or Red)

"I think with your IQ, you're unarmed and still very dangerous."

2004-05-18T01:56:00.000-04:00

Today was a bit different. Woke up, went to pick up College and went to the Mall. Picked up Tango and Cash and The Burbs on DVD. The Burbs is one of the funniest movies i've ever seen, highly reccommended. After that we went to Hot Z's for lunch then off to the Fairview. Took a 12 pack back to Colleges for some burgers, then played some NHL 98 and watched some tv. I had about 10 beers throughout and im feeling the ills of that now. Kate's sister Amy stopped by as well (wink wink Stacey hahahah).

I get to close work tomorrow which will be a great thrill. 3 closes this week should mean some sort of hell and agravation. But its money.

Calgary won tonite, which means they are 1 game away from the Stanley Cup finals. No Canadian team has made it to the Finals since 1994, so (hopefully)good for the Great White North. Now Tampa just has to win and all will be good in the hockey world. Well as good as it can get without the Devils in the fold.

Current TV: Tango and Cash
Current Mood: too much beer
Current Lament: Work tomorrow

I don't know the difference between a Picasso and a train wreck.

2004-05-16T02:20:00.000-04:00

Today was a loooong day. Got up at 730am to go and help Josh and Cindy move into their new house. That lasted till 1. Shouldnt have had the 3 and a half beers before going to work. I was dog tired and my back hurt like hell. Thats not getting any better.

After that, came home and watched Bean on the million dollar movie showcase. That was a great movie, but the tv series from England was classic.

Just for kicks...i get alot of porn junk mail. Its actually pretty funny stuff what they come up with. Here are some of the email subject headings:

-Get Your Complimentary Supply of Royal Jelly
-Guess how she paid for college
-Sexual Material: I'm easy so lets go
-Very Very Personal Assistants
-I just like to watch thru windows
-Make her ass bleed
-Hot Cheating Wives

Funny stuff

Current TV: Frequency
Current Drink: Always Coca Cola

"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

2004-05-14T01:04:00.000-04:00

Today i spent my usual day off...watched Law & Order, 2 eps of Step by Step, 2 eps of Married with Children, then played a little playstation. I spent a good bit updating the rosters so they were up to date, then started a series against Buffalo. Needless to say, otherwise i wouldnt be writing this, i lost and decided i didnt like the game anymore so i took the disc and shattered it into 1000 pieces. So there goes the psx with no games left to play.

Ive got an interview next week to work at the world famous QVC. Its a flex pay situation, so i call in and work the hours i want, so im hoping to work there and stay at TGI Fridays.

My faithful car, the 1995 plymouth neon, is falling apart at the seams. The speedometer rarely works, and today the turn signals, air conditioning and radio wouldnt work. Probably just an electrical problem, maybe i'll have Josh look at it.

This weekend sucks, i work Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. Hopefully i can get out early on Friday or Saturday in time to get out to the bar with the regulars. As long as i get home in time to watch Law & Order Criminal Intent on Sunday i'll be happy.

Current TV: random infomercial
Current Music: Next to be with You by Mr. Big
Coming in a week and a half: The Doug Duncan Tribute, a post dedicated to the greatest black man i've ever known.

More Doctors Smoke Camels!

2004-05-11T14:16:00.000-04:00

Now that im working and have money again, i figured i'd go out and blow some of it right away. I got Sudden Impact on DVD and bought a book at Borders. While i was at Borders, this guy came up to me and started asking me a bunch of questions. Like if i was a history buff and where i worked and if thats what i was doing for the summer and all kinds of stuff. Now, either he was hitting me up for one of those pyramid scheme jobs which i seem to get alot, or he was trying to pick me up. Can't i just look for a book in peace?

Sudden Impact was great. There's the Go Ahead Make my Day bit and then there was a scene where hes fighting some guy and his girlfriend is jumping on his back and hitting him, and Dirty Harry just turns around and punches her right in the mouth. And there's always a great death scene for the bad guy at the end, and this time, Callahan shoots the guy off a stairway and he falls off, thru a roof then into a merry-go-round and the guy gets impaled on the horn of a unicorn.

I've gotten back into smoking full swing, like days of old. But i'm quitting again, right after this pack.....

Ghostbusters 2:
"And that is the whole problem with aliens. You just can't trust them. Occasionally you meet a nice one...Starman, ET. But usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard!"--Venkman

Current Mood: Bored
Current TV: Step by Step..LOSER!

Blue Skies! Barfy Burgers! Girls!

2004-05-10T01:03:00.000-04:00

We lost our hockey game 3-2 today. It was a close one. Fries had a shot with 2 seconds left all alone infront but the goalie made a good save. College got an assist after a great outlet pass.

After that, worked from 4 to 9, and it was hectic. Since it was Mother's Day, there were about 50 groups of 5 or more, which made it hell to organize it all. Now i get the next two days off to relax and do nothing.

The Flyers lost AND the Flames won this weekend, which is exactly what i wanted. If a Canadian team like the Flames, which ironically, or not so ironically was the original name of our hockey team, can make the finals or win the Cup, that would be great.

Current TV: True Crime, nothing beats an Eastwood flick
Current Mood: no work till Wednesday baby.

Thats it, you just made my List!

2004-05-08T01:33:00.000-04:00

Had today off, so i just loafed around. Went and got my tips from Fridays and then went to the Fairview. Met up there with Josh and Cindy. Nice little evening, but i learned more about the female menstrual cycle than i really wanted to know, but it was a good night. Saturday i work night, then MGD hockey early Sunday and work :-o later that night. I hate working Sundays, but i guess im going to have deal with it.

The Conference Finals begin this weekend, and if Tampa doesnt beat the Flyers, there's gonna be some hefty consequences and repercussions. On the other side, we are rooting for the Calgary Flames. It seems the old guard of Dallas, Colorado and Detroit has passed, so bring on the new young teams.

Moe: We're going to be paupers...paupers!
Shemp: Are you kidding, we're not even married!
SMACK!

Current Mood: Sleepy
Current TV: History Channel, yeah im a history major.

Inside this post...the Legend of the Sleeveless Adidas.

2004-05-07T01:54:00.000-04:00

Its late night Thursday. Worked today and it was quite busy. But i have tomorrow off, so i imagine we will all take to the Fairview, and it will be good.

I've started drinking beer at home, which i've done a total of about 5 times. I get home from work, and since i never work until 4 or 5, i figure what the hell...hit up Dick Lynn's never ending supply of Coors Light and get loopy. Its not a good beer, or even a great beer, matter of fact it sucks and gives me a tremendous headache the next day, but its free. Since i've given up faith of ever making something of my life, alcholism seems like a great way to make a name for myself. Its either that or killing the President, but look what that did for Lee Harvey Oswald. Besides, being an alcoholic looks pretty funny in the movies and tv.

Tonight, we learned of the passing of a television insitution. The end of one of the greats. Two Wednesdays from now, Jerry Orbach ends his run on Law & Order. Lennie Briscoe, one of the top characters in television history, will continue on Law & Order: Trial by Jury, in a limited role. He will be missed on the mother ship. As for his replacement, i think they should bring Richard Belzer's John Munch over, a character that is totally underused on SVU. Two more episodes to savor the wisecracker Briscoe.

Oh yeah, Friends ended tonight. Truth be told, i never liked the show except for the one where they had the game show for the apartments. But, i did watch. It seemed like they wanted to tie up Ross and Rachel, and go for some goofball moments with the rest for old times sake. It was no Cheers finale, which was great. That had all the characters together at the end in a bull session that gave you a final look into all of the characters, which was funny, poingnant and left you satisfied with everyone, even though it was ending. The last Quantum Leap was even 10x times better, which showed Sam giving up any chance of getting home, so that he could fix Al's life for the better. Ultimate sacrifice for your best friend beats some slut leaving a plane to be with a tool anyday in my humble opinion.

I'm watching this show on the History Channel about the dropping of the Atomic Bomb on Japan, and whether or not it should have been done. 2 bombs, hell we should have dropped 10 atomic bombs on the dirty Japanese. At the time, the Japs were committing acts of human cruelty that would rival those of the Nazis. The Japanese would dissect American POWs alive and use them for experimental surgery with no anesthesia. Death marches, beating, rapes, torture, burning people alive and even boiling people alive were not beyong the scope of the Japanese war effort. Hell, at least the Germans were using gas chambers, which were relatively harmless compared to what Emperor Hirohito was ordering. Total justification in dropping both nuclear bombs.

As for the women thing, i still am adamant on my "given up philosophy." I'm not going to waste anymore time worrying about some girl. I tried for this one girl, and when that didn't work out, i figured, thats enough for me, i'm not going through anymore hassles. But, if the right girl comes along, and initiates some sort of contact and it works out, that's fine and dandy...but beyond that, its up to Mark Householder to continue on the Householder family name. I'm done, but i trust Mark will carry the direct bloodline further.

Legend of the Sleeveless Adidas:

I imagine Matt or Kyle or Brad might get the most enjoynment out of this story. I've always had t-shirts that are old and raggedy, but i still love to wear for comfortability. It started with an old 1986 American League Champions Red Sox t-shirt i got from my cousin. I wore that shirt to the bitter end, holes everywhere and the sleeves ripped to the armpits. After that i went to a grey Duke University shirt that i also got from my cousin Chuck. After that shirt met its fate, i went to 2 shirts i made in graphic arts class in highschool: one that said "absolutely perfect" and another that said Boston Celtics and had all of their 16 championship seasons listed underneath. I still own those shirts, but now my absolute most favorite is the sleeveless Adidas shirt, which i wear with pride. I got this prized and historic peace of fabric from an old highschool friend Dan Ryan some 6 years ago. For some reason he wanted to get rid of a bunch of old clothes and i took a non-descript Adidas shirt out of friendship. Its blue, says Adidas, and has the trademark three stripes underneath. The shirt hung in my room for a year or so before i decided to make something of it. Feeling a need for a tanktop/muscle shirt, i cut the sleeves off the Adidas shirt, and a legend was born, one that would see so many great moments. As an undershirt the Sleeveless Adidas was a participant in such events as: The Night that Brad Constein fingered and ate out Brooke Bowers while Eric Constein made out her at the same time, with no alcoholic motivation, infront of College, Matt and myself, and saw Matt lend an extra finger; The night MGD claimed its one and only (at present) roller hockey championship at Resevoir Park (game winning goal right here baby); the night Brad, College and I went to Lindsay Jacksons house, while her mother was supposed to be working, but as we sat in Ms. Jackson's room, her mother burst through the door like the Incredible Hulk through a brick wall; many of night of College Classics at Dennys; and was present the night College pissed on the pringles at Turkey Hill. It has seen many atrocities and it has seen many highlights of this bloggers life. The Sleeveless Adidas hangs in my closet to this day, a little worse for ware. Sure its splitting down the side seams, the collar is fraying, and it has bleech spots that have turned it purple, but this peice of cotton has seen what other inferior peices of fabric have not. It lives on, never to be forgotten.

Current Mood: The Silver Bullet
Current Wardrobe Choice: The Sleeveless Adidas and plaid flannel pants.

Mouse Trap

2004-05-04T00:50:00.000-04:00

Woo Hoo, the Calgary Flames just eliminated the filthy RedWings and the dirty Derian Hatcher. CuJo is a born loser, and will never ever win. The Devils are gone, but its still the playoffs.

Sunday we won our hockey game, and almost degenerated into a giant brawl, just like days of old. Kyle Durkin got suspended for 2 games for throwing a punch, and i almost got into it with another guy who slashed Fries. Of course we kicked their ass, and they couldnt hang, so they started playing cheap which started all the shenanigans.

Worked today and its going alright, i just cant seem to grasp the sections and not double and triple seating the waitresses. Hopefully i'll get it.

I caught a mouse in my room last night. I was all ready to get to sleep and i saw this big shadow go across the room. I knew it was too big to be a spider, so i hit the lights and checked it and found the mouse. It kind of freaked me out, which is kind of sissy, but it was a filthy disease infested mouse. So i started looking for it, and i turned the lights out, and tried to flush it out from behind the couch, but i couldnt find it. So i started pulling all the junk from behind the couch to find it. I pulled a shirt out and laid it on the arm of the couch and leaned over to see if i could spot it. When i leaned over on the shirt, i felt wiggling and i freaked and threw the shirt and the mouse ran out. It went against the wall and i went after it. It got away from me, but ran into a conviently placed cup and i threw a box over it. So i snagged it and started shaking the box to knock the pest out and then took it outside and threw it in a sewer. And thats my mouse catching story.

Current TV: channel surfing
Current Beer: Coors Light?!
Current Mood: Goodbye Detroit and that bastard Derian Hatcher!!!!!!1

Life Everlasting II

2004-05-02T01:56:00.000-04:00

Well, well. Worked today from 4 to 10 at TGI Fridays and that was pretty good. On my third day, i got an entire smoking section to myself which was pretty hectic. Oh well, i only broke one glass. I guess i was pretty slow, i get the idea that i could have went faster and got people to my section quicker. I have to give it to my superior Laura, she worked the door and understood my incompetence. All in all, i really like the job and the people there. I must add again, there is a multitude of hot looking girls working at TGI Fridays. And working with Brad Constein is sublime.

After work i came home, showered up and went to the Fairview. The entire gang was there...College, Kate, Josh, Cindy, Jason, Melissa, Amy, Alicia, Jason, Dan, Christina, and another girl who I cant remember her name, but i have seen her before at College's New Years Bash. It was a great time, we played darts and movie trivia.

As I watch this retrospective on John Kennedy's time as President on the History Channel, i've got to tell the 2 or so people that read this blog what a shmozz of a President JFK was. He didnt do a damn thing as President, and wasn't beloved until someone that wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald killed him on November 22, 1963. He was an adulter, like Martin Luther King....i love the quote, "i hope my children can live based on the content of their character, not on the color of their skin," quote. JFK relied on Bob MacNamara and his brother the entire 3 years.

Current TV: History Channel
Current Mood: ohh, Molson XXX

Life Everlasting

2004-04-30T23:52:00.000-04:00

Today was day #2 of work and my back is bent in half. But, it seems like a nice place to work. Alot of hot girls to stare at, and Bradley Constein.

Took my Modern US History final today and it could have went better. I didnt fail it or anything but i could have done better. Now i have the Euro History final Saturday morning at 8am(!), and after that i'm a senior(!).

Work again Saturday, then im getting some Molson XXX (8.75% alcohol content) and getting ripped nice and good. Then Hockey Sunday and thats my weekend.

In the Line of Fire:

Mitch Leary: I have a rendezvous with death, and so does the President, and so do you if you get too close.
Frank Horrigan: You have a rendezvous with my ass, motherfucker!

Current TV: Law & Order
Current Pain: ohhh, my back

Get me a beer my back's sore.

2004-04-28T23:07:00.000-04:00

Started the new job at Fridays today. It seems pretty cool, and everyone working there seems nice. But not working for about 2 months left my knees and back in ultimate pain.

Took my foreign policy exam this morning, which turned out 100x better than the World to 1500 exam. Just two more to go and i'm free for the summer.

The Devils may be gone, but our other heroes, the Boston Red Sox are on fire. They have kicked the hell out of the Yankees this year and beat Tampa tonight. 2004 is the year for the Red Sox. This year the Impossible Dream comes true.

Current TV: Law & Order SVU
Current Mood: sleep

The Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?......They suck!....Then its not just a clever name...

2004-04-25T13:11:00.000-04:00

We got our hockey game in this morning despite there being a terrential downpour. By the time the game started, there were puddles everywhere. But the surface wasnt that bad, i only fell like 3 times. We did win, i think it was 7 or 8 to 4. I'm just waiting for pneumonia to set in, which would be just my luck.

Finals week is next week, then its a summer of relaxation, which followed my Spring of jobless relaxation.

Current TV: Nothing to Lose
Current Wardrobe Choice: Ragged Millersville Basketball T-Shirt and Plaid Pajama Pants.

Listen your ass is about to be missing, you know whos gonna find you? Some old man fishin'!

2004-04-24T03:06:00.000-04:00

Great night tonight, at the Fairview. Met up with Josh and Cindy and Fries and Lauren. Had some fun, then College and Chris showed up. There was a band at the Fairview, which was quite a suprise. I saw the female singer at Emersons a few Halloweens ago, and i remember her that night....she was the most beautiful girl in the world that night, she glowed i tell you. So it was great to see her sing again...and she came over and sang with College and I.

The only thing better than the Red Sox beating the shit out of the Yankees last weekend at Fenway is the Red Sox beating the shit out of the Yankees at the Stadium. The beaneaters killed the spanks 11-2 tonight. All is right with the world...well yeah, if i was banging a hot chick too..but i digress.

Current TV: Sportscenter
Current Mood: yeah, bedtime

You're Hired

2004-04-21T10:55:00.000-04:00

I've finally scored a job at TGI Fridays at the mall, working with Brad Constein and Kyle Durkin. This should be fun.

I finished my college paper at 3:45 am last night/this morning, so that makes it about 4 straight days of 4-6 hours of sleep and now its killing me. Now a big essay test tomorrow is all i have until finals.

Now that the Devils are out of the playoffs...i lay my preferences on any of the three Canadian teams: the Canadiens, the Flames or the Maple Leafs. I'd like to see a Flames Canadiens Final.

The other day i was reminded of another CollegeBoy Classic™:

College and I went down to House of Pasta one night in Millersville, and for those who' never been there, they have these giant mugs that are really cheap and add up to almost three beers in all. College had been drinking earlier in the day, so when we got there he was blasted already, but adding the giant mugs didnt help. We went out to the sand bar and College just slouched in the chair, trying not to pass out, while kicking sand all over the other 2 at our table. Finally we took off and i nearly had to carry College out of the place. So i drop him off at the Compound and hes really laboring to get out of the car and keep on his feet. I asked him if he needed help, but he waved me off and i left. Turns out College made it as far as his front porch, where he passed out doubled over the rail. Flash forward to the next morning, when College's mother Donna comes outside to walk the dog Chloe. She finds College still out cold, and starts yelling and asking him what the hell he was doing, to which College replied, "I'm walking Chloe." Awesome.

Current TV: History Channel
Current Mood: end the pain